Child-free Wedding Conundrum

posted 2 months ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Can you stay some where else, close by the venue, and bring a trusted friend or family member to watch your 18 month old? 

We did this back in September, I was still breastfeeding and we brought my best friend to stay with our son while we went to the wedding. It was expensive, we foot the bill for my friend, but it was worth it. 

Post # 4
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

If your friends decided to have a child free wedding, then they are probably already prepared for the possibility that some guests won’t be able to make it. Like you said, there’s nothing wrong with having a child free wedding, but the natural trade-off is that some guests won’t be available! If your friends good friends and also mature adults, they won’t be upset. They’ve hopefully already anticipated that some of their guests with children won’t be there, and they’ll understand 

Post # 5
Member
7995 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

This is one of the natural consequences of a child free wedding  – some people will be unable to attend. The couple has their priorities (a child free wedding) and you have yours (the safety and we’ll being of your child). Neither of you is wrong, but the two are incompatible. They shouldn’t be that upset, as there’s really no way around this issue. 

Post # 7
Member
6645 posts
Bee Keeper

They have no business being upset if you can’t go.  Disappointed sure but upset no.  It does suck to have to say no I get that I hate saying no too. I’ve been saying no this whole pandemic and it’s not getting easier.  But since at least one of you is going I think that needs to be ok with them.  

Post # 8
Member
780 posts
Busy bee

We attending a wedding that took place at a hotel, and basically did a round robin where my husband and I and some family members took turns going to our hotel room to watch the baby.

Post # 9
Member
6645 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
@JiminyCricket:  Just saw the update it makes it so much more stressful when peoplec are like this.  I have some friends like this too and it’s not every easy to deal with.  I’m sorry.  

Post # 10
Member
988 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

View original reply
@JiminyCricket:  you don’t need to worry about a grown persons inability to manage their feelings & disappoinment. if they say something negative ask if they are providing childcare and say if so you would gladly attend & if not then surely you can’t be upset!

Post # 11
Member
2275 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
@JiminyCricket:  I’ve asked a couple mutual friends how they thought it would go if I told them I wasn’t coming, and everyone agrees it’s going to go badly. 

I think behavior like this is why some close friendships eventually become distant friendships.  As we grow and evolve as people, have families, and our priorities generally tend to shift, we no longer have time for such petty behavior IMO.

Post # 14
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee

Unfortunately that’s just what happens when you have a child-free wedding – some people can’t come. 

If they can’t understand that, they’re being unreasonable. What do they expect you to do with your baby, not just for a few hours, but overnight??? 

The groom being dramatic and unreasonable is not your problem. Your baby is the obvious priority here. You can’t just drop him/her at a baby kennel. 

Post # 15
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

This is on the B&G no children means some people in their family and peer group will not be able to attend. As for a dramatic groom, good luck to the bride is all I can say!

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