Post # 1
My FH and I decided from the get-go that we are going to have a child-free ceremony and reception. We would have 53 kids there otherwise. And yes, I know not everyone would bring their kids, but I know for a fact a good portion of them would.
1. We are going to have an open bar. While many of our friends are settled down and have children, there are still quite a few that live the single, partying lifestyle. I don’t want to be held responsible for what one of my liquored up, non-child friends may say infront of my cousin’s 5 year old daughter. And I’m not going to lie, I tend to say stuff that isn’t meant for “little ears” quite often and don’t want to slip up.
2. We are getting married at a venue that is not kid appropriate.
3. BUDGET. Most people think this would be the #1 reason, but it’s not. Our guest list is 210 people and our budget is now $15k (used to be waaaay lower!). We would have to pay extra for everything because it is per person.
We tried to tell everyone by word of mouth that we decided it was a child-free event. We were giving them well over a years notice to find a babysitter for one night. Although I have one friend that is offended that I don’t want his kids there (and I had to explain to him many many times that it’s not just his kids) everyone else seems to be okay with it…hell, many of my friends are excited to go out for a night without their kids. I had put on our website that we decided to have our day be for children 13 and over with the exception of the children in the bridal party (nephew as ring bearer, sister as flower girl/junior bridesmaid and close family friend’s daughter as guest book attendant/gift watcher). Just to make sure people saw this, I included the address to the website on our save the dates. Only 7 people have looked at it since then! We just ordered our invitations last week and the lady suggested putting “____ ADULTS WILL BE ATTENDING” on our RSVP cards. While I was reluctant (I thought putting “___ seats are reserved for you” was enough), my FH was totally for it, so we put them on the cards.
I’m concerned that we will get all kinds of negative comments/concerns now!
Post # 3
It sounds like you already put the word out and people know.
Not wanting kids around liqour, inappropriate language..umm, most people have parties (holiday, get togethers, just because) So i never found that to be a good reason. My parents had a party every summer, there was alcohol, Uncle Drunky always had a few too many, people had a good time. My ears are still ok. lol
In the end you WILL have kids there from your bridal party so to say you just didn’t find it to be a good setting for kids, kinda falls apart when you have your flower girl and ring bearer there. So just tell them budget constraints if you want to give a reason.
Its you party, you don’t want extra kids there for budget reasons, or just becuase, its your decision! Don’t let anyone boss you around. If they’re upset, oh well. They can throw a party of their own.
Post # 4
I see this topic come up on here often. You will always have people who don’t understand your kid free wishes and be offended but its their problem and as the bride you must stand by your decision and move on to more important things. I wouldn’t of wanted 53 children at my wedding! Gosh that is a lot and you are making the right call.I can understand the children in the wedding and 13+ only. You are giving people a year in advance to plan and posting it on your site and your invites. You have covered all your bases it sounds like. Don’t worry much about how people will take it. It’s your day and if they can’t respect your decision..they they shouldn’t go!
Post # 5
@MissCallieJean: I should have been specific here. A lot of my friends would be okay with “adult conversations” around their kids (including the one who was offended, who said “well my kids know not to repeat stuff adults say”), but a few on the otherhand might take offense. For instance, my super religious cousin who has 8 kids and would bring all of them if she could would most likely have an issue with things being said around her kids.
Post # 6
People have feelings both way on this subject. When it comes down to it, you really don’t even have to give a reason if that is your choice. So don’t feel like you need to defend that choice.
We chose to have only children 12 and up for a variety of reasons, with the addition of our ringbearer. A couple of our guests chose not to attend because their children were not invited. I was disappointed, but I understood. Also, far more of our guests chose to make it a “night out” and really enjoy an adult evening. So it definitely goes both ways. 🙂
Post # 7
@AMDP0412: Well then I would hope that she would know to leave the kiddos at home, especially if she knows alcohol will be served. Maybe you could give her a call and let her know that people will be drinking?