- 4 years ago
So, I haven’t used this site since my own wedding, but I have a bit of a situation involving my brother’s upcoming wedding…I have a conversation planned with the bride when I see her next weekend, but I wanted some perspective before I talk to her.
My brother is getting married in August in a big west coast city about 90 minutes from my hometown. I live two time zones away in the midwest. My husband, child and I are all in the wedding party and will be flying there a few days before the wedding and staying a few days after to visit with family.
I just found out, through the grapevine, the bride does not want kids at the reception and is upset with another bridesmaid/mom of a wedding party member (who is also from out of state) for assuming her child was invited to the reception. I found all this out because I was called to see who I am using as a babysitter and if the ring bearer can also be watched by my sitter.
The problem is, we don’t have anyone to watch our little one during the reception. Almost everyone we know who we could ask to travel to the reception site, and we would be comfortable leaving our toddler with, will be at the wedding. The one person who still lived in the area and we felt comfortable asking the watch our child (and asking to travel the 90 minutes, stay in the hotel, etc.) is not available. My in laws are not an option for us.
I’m not sure what to do at this point. I’m beyond frustrated that this is all coming up now and feeling a lot of pressure to find a sitter because I was told that I had an adults only wedding reception, so they should get to have one too. Except…I didn’t have kids in my wedding party. And I accommodated two out of state relatives who needed to bring toddlers to the ceremony because their sitter wasn’t available until later in the day.
Am I out of line for expecting all three of us to be invited to the reception? We are spending thousands of dollars between the plane tickets and the hotel and buying dresses and tux rentals and flying to various parts of the country for the shower, bachelorette and bachelor parties and the hair and makeup (which she is requiring but not paying for…) and a few other times I am providing because I can because of my business that I am not charging them for (which is my choice, but it kind of feels crappy in light of this new development)
Does anyone have any ideas on how we can accommodate this request, or if we should? My husband suggested a local to the the wedding babysitting service that background checks sitters, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. I’ve never left my child with people we didn’t personally know, and know well.
How can I tactfully explain to the bride that I feel that I have no other options?