Child molester being invited to wedding

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 46
Member
7924 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

Either OP was looking to get a rise out of the Bee, or she was anticipating being told she was right, but not that she should reevaluate her relationship with her Fi. Either way, it appears she isn’t coming back.

 

Post # 47
Member
8015 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

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@longtobee:  I wondered the same but hope OP wouldn’t be here posting about something like that. 

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@caniofferyouafishsandwich:  So they cut their flower girl and other guests so this abusive aunt can attend?? What happens when they have children?

I would have no problem drawing the guest list line at child abusers and would be concerned that the person I planned to spend the rest of my life and potentially have children with didn’t feel the same way. 

Post # 48
Member
3294 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@echomomm:  my spider senses are tingling on this one …

Post # 49
Member
7235 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

If I attended your wedding and brought my child and found out you had a known child molester there without warning me, I would rip you and your husband to absolute shreds. You would have nightmares of the sound of my voice.

Your fiance has a troublingly lax view on this and I would be concerned about his choices with my children and their safety down the line. I also would be reevaluating a relationship with anyone thinking it was acceptable to call me crazy because I didn’t want a child molester at my wedding (or in my life period). Is he similarly stupid on other big matters?

I would not have the aunt at my wedding and I would not be willing to ever have her around me or my child(ren). I deeply believe in violence in these matters and I would not be willing to sign up for a life where this conversation was on the table. It’s stupid and so is your FH.

Post # 50
Member
13777 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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@echomomm:  I hope it’s the former in this case. It’s a whole lot better than the alternative. 

Post # 51
Member
2792 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@avalynpage:  No. Full stop. No.

God forbid you agree to invite her, please tell anyone who has children that there will be a child abuser in attendance so that they can make the choice to keep their children away to protect them. I would never forgive a friend who invited me and my kids to the same event as a known child molester. 

Post # 52
Member
1768 posts
Buzzing bee

Lowkey suss on this post.

Post # 53
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2021

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@beethree:  You didn’t understand what I said. I was stating the fact that they must have to warn the other guests that she is attending if she does. Then it’s up to the guests to decide whether they still want to attend. My point was she isn’t worth losing any other guests. Why make your entire wedding uncomfortable for just one person? Don’t invite her!

Post # 54
Member
368 posts
Helper bee

Sex offenders, esp. pedophiles, DO NOT CHANGE. EVER.  

Post # 55
Member
21 posts
Newbee

Gosh what a situation. Can’t really blame you for the objection at all.

Post # 56
Member
4990 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

My guess is sadly that this is a true post because if it was a fake one OP would be back posting updates to get their weird jollies from trolling the Internet. 😕

OP, if you ever read this, please reconsider marrying this person. His views and that of his family who accept drugs as the reason for his aunt molesting children is very wrong and very problematic. Have you ever thought about the situation in future that you guys end up divorced and the system awards you both 50/50 custody of your children? You are picking someone to be the father of your children who has no concern of putting innocent children in accessible path of a convicted child molester. They will be OK with putting your children in harms way. You should never have kids with someone who you can’t trust to raise your children the way you want them to in case of your absence.

Don’t marry this man. Him and his family are disgusting in their attitude and continued acceptance towards this piece of scum who sexually molest children…. Let that sink in OP. This animal touched an innocent child in a sexual manner. Nothing can excuse that or explain it away. You could get me completely drug f*cked and torture me and I’d never touch them in a sexual manner. I’d prefer to die than to ever do that to an innocent child. You are marrying someone who thinks drugs is a valid reason for someone to ‘accidentally’ sexually molest a child. Molesting a child is a choice and not an accident. Can you trust this guy to raise your children in your absence? I think not….

Post # 57
Member
2102 posts
Buzzing bee

A close friend of mine attended a holiday dinner in a house packed with relatives. She brought her children. One wandered off for a bit but my friend thought she was safe. In truth, a relative had trapped her in a room and raped her, right in a house full of people. It didn’t take more than fifteen minutes. The family disowned this woman when she reported it to police. The girl also named other kids present who encouraged her to cooperate–clearly they had already been victimized by him and told to keep quiet. Some people will protect offenders over children. It looks like your fi is one. Do you think this is the only time this will be an issue? No. No it won’t be. Children will not be safe at your wedding and your own children will not be safe when their father brings them around the family child molester. He would probably silence them just like he’s trying to silence you.

Post # 58
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

I know it’s easy for a stranger to say but I would be reconsidering this relationship on the fact that he has not ALREADY cut the child molester from his life AND those who sweep her actions under the rug and thus have enabled her. 

If he was a victim it makes more sense because there is a lot of trauma he needs to unpack and separating himself from his family will feel terrifying at first. However if that is the case he needs to tell you ASAP so that you can get him into therapy and tell him that the molester and anyone who has enabled her will not be in your lives from that day forward,  period. If he needs friends (actual friends and not scumbags) he can join a club or adopt a pet, but not contact them. 

If he wasn’t a victim he needs to get his head screwed on straight, pronto, or I would be gone. 

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