(Closed) Child Support

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
599 posts
Busy bee

Not sure where you live but some states will really go after child support dodgers. I know a woman who’s ex hasn’t had a license in years since the state suspended his for failure to pay. The same guy never sees his tax refunds since they’re always intercepted and sent directly to her.

Post # 17
Member
4241 posts
Honey bee

Does he ever see his daughter? My sister was able to get sole custody of her two children because their father was completely out of their life for a certain amount of time- she basically was able to forfeit all his parental rights and file for abandonment (I think?)- I believe he is now no longer on the hook for child support, but it was worth it for her.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 10 months ago by  ClaudiaKishi.
Post # 18
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

I’m just commenting here so I can find it later. I’m in a semi similar situation and will probably have a long reply to type out. So I will respond tonight when I put my son to bed.

Post # 19
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee

In some states a lawyer is not required to establish child support. You can go to your local child support recovery office and for a very small fee they can file the paperwork for you. It does not establish any type of custody agreement it is only about child support and they will also do all of the income withholding. Since legal advice can be very expensive sometimes this is a wonderful option and one that I wasn’t aware of until recently. Might be something to look in to. Good luck. And also, coming from someone who struggled with taking that first step and every step after that in the process…it’s the right thing. You can always message me if you need to talk!

Post # 20
Member
7309 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

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s2bmzbrown: This is not legal advice… just life experience talking here. The only thing I could not legally do without my ex’s signature was get a passport for DS. We had to wait until he turned 16, and then we could get it with just my signature. Everything else, from surgeries for DS to enrolling him in school to relocating in a different county… everything else I could do completely on my own.  

Post # 23
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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s2bmzbrown:  “For example, he’s in college now and EVERY refund check is used on “studio equipment” and drugs. That’s it. We don’t get one red cent.”

Then you shouldn’t expect him to pay you money from his refund check.  It’s a loan, not income.

Post # 26
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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s2bmzbrown:  My advice I’m offering you is logic.  Yes, he should absolutely be paying you child support from income from working, but neither you nor your daughter are entitled to the refund money from his student loans.  Your daughter is not a school expense.  If he’s not working, then he should get a job and figure out how to balance working and school.

Post # 28
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

Okay I can respond now.

My kids are 9 & 4. My daughter,9, has never met or talked to, had anything to do with, received anything from, her real dad. She’s never asked, so we’ve neverhad to explain. We have pictures and all his information set away so when she’s old enough to understand she can find him if she wishes. I chose not to go after him for support because he’s a POS drug addict/dealer with a million kids ( she was the first lol) and we didn’t want to bring that negativity into her life. My father is the best father figure to her that I could ever ask for. My son, 4, has a ‘better’ relationship with his dad. The first 2 years were awesome. We weren’t together and lived in different neighboring states so we just split the time. If I remember correctly he paid me $300 a month for split time. Then his dad got a job working 3+ weeks out of the month so he would take him the week he was home. He paid me $500 a month then. All was peachy keen. Until his girlfriend got pregnant….then we knocked it back down to 300 even though I fought for 400. A few months after my son turned 3 he stopped paying all together. Just cold turkey. He didn’t spend any time with him or anything. I didn’t want to be ‘that mom’ and hold the not paying thing against his mother so I still allowed her to see him. I filed child support not even a month after he quit paying and it went through with no lawyer involved 3-4 months later. I filed in MD but it did everything in PA where he lives. Why the did it that way idk. I showedproof of everything he’s ever paid me. Still they only court orderedhim to payme $55 a month. $55 amonth. Wtfis that gonna do?! I am an unemployed single motherliving with my parents with no car currently awaiting my disability case to be approved. He works under the table, has 2 cars, lives in a single family home, has an unemployed girlfriend, a baby, his gfs 4 yo son, he does drugs all the time his mother says, etc etc etc. But I only get $55 a month to care for hs son. Crazy. Well a few monthsgoes by…and nothing. He still can’t even pay $55 court ordered child support. He had to appear in court because he wrnt 3 months without paying. Well his mom gave him the money so he wouldn’t get in trouble. Fast forward 3 more months…still nothing. He got another court date. He postponed it so I had to wait another month. He finally went and they told him to pay it in full or he would spent 60 or 90 days in jail I forget which one. His mother paid it again. Now its 2 months later and still nothing. Come to think of it, I only got half of the last owed money. I’m going next week to file against him for not paying and to seekmore money (like I’ll ever get that ha). Its getting ridiculous and its pathetic. He sees his son maybe 1 day every 2 months and a few days during summer and pays NOTHING. I ask for nothing extra.

 

 

So lawyer up and hope to god you don’t end up like me. Lol. And sorry I ran that all together. I jst kept typing and it turned out to be a wholleeee lot lol

Post # 29
Member
1991 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
kb7:  Your comments are not really helpful to OP.  Drugs and studio equipment aren’t school expenses either.  If he’s spending his money on these things, he can certainly by his daughter a pack of pampers. Of course he won’t be required to pay childsupport based on financial aid that he gets, as it is not income.  But I would think that any self-respecting man would buy his child some formula or a pack of onesies, before he buys himself a dime bag, regardless of where the money came from.  I’m sure OP is aware that she can’t go after his finacial aid as well.  

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