Post # 1
My friend is in desperate need of advice and asked me to request your all’s help. (She dare not sit at the computer long.) She has two boys that are ADHD. They are the brightest boys you will ever meet but they are complete handfuls. You dare not take your eyes off them for a second. They are very inventive.
They repelled down from their mom’s bedroom window and broke bones while she was throwing a load of wash in. They tied the dog up to the cat to make them be friends (and got bit and scratched in the process requiring stitches) while she was changing the baby’s diaper. They duplicted the volcanoe project from school on a large scale and it cost big $ to clean up. They went over to the neighbor’s in ground pool and played drowned and the man had a stroke. (It was six am she was in the shower and didn’t know they were up.) They were in boy scouts and were taught about rubbing two sticks together to start a fire which they did in the middle of the night and started a fire on their bed. (I didn’t even think that really worked! They were pulled out of boy scouts.) They climbed down an abandoned well while visiting their grandparents and couldn’t climb out, there was a community wide search for them (someone was giving her a break). The list goes on and on.
They have been at it since they were babies. They crawled by 9 months. They would throw themselves out of cribs at 8 months. There has never been a safe place to put them. She has been afraid to go to the bathroom or even sleep for years now.
She has taken them to doctor’s/psychiatrists and the general opinion seems to be boys will be boys. She needs a break but no one wants to keep her little terrors. I tried once but I am not brave enough to do it again. Has anyone else ever seen or heard of boys like this? They are always very repentant and never committ the same crime twice but they come up with new one’s every day. Does anyone have similar stories, advice, something to cheer her up? At the very least can you keep her in your prayers?
Post # 3
I have no advice to give you… but wow!
Post # 4
Honestly – this sounds a lot like stuff me and my cousin and my brother would o growing up.
My brother attempted to light a golf ball on fire in the garage right next to the gasoline cans. All three of us set a fire under the bridge in the woods by my grandpa’s house and melted cups and plastic in it. We set little fire crakers off to scare people all the time. My brother and I would rile our dogs up so they’d run around like crazy. We climb up the neighbor’s trees. The list goes on and on.
I honestly see it as pretty typical child behavior and the two boys just play off each other. Kids are cruious and like to try new things and explore different posibilities.
Post # 5
its definitely harder when the kids are intelligent, which obviously they are. they have some crazy imaginations!
my advice? call super nanny. haha.
or maybe a mommy helper?
Post # 6
It sounds like they are very intelligent, inventive, creative little guys! I would think that they need a (safe, well-monitored) outlet for their creativity and curiosity. Something mentally challenging like a science program for gifted children or something physically challenging like soccer or rock climbing. Are they involved in any extracurriculars, or do they have any special interests? That’s where I would start in looking for activities that will keep them engaged and put their intelligence and creativity to good use.
Also, I kinda laughed reading your post, but they definitely sound like a challenge!
Post # 7
I think it depends on their temperment. I mean, just because they get into stuff doesn’t mean they are mean spirited.
It is very important that they understand the consequences of things. If they destroy something it should be THEIR responsibility to clean it up. NOT MOM’S! If they break something, they should have to do chores to earn the money to replace it.
I don’t want to get flamed for this, but has she tried spanking. Some kids respond well to it, especially boys when it’s done by a man. If he explains what they did wrong, why it was wrong/dangerous/etc. and then spanks them hard enough to hurt but not leave marks.
Also, channeling that energy into something can be very helpful, but sometimes difficult to find something appropriate. Musical instruments? Sports?
Establishing a good routine is essential. Food is always eaten at the table during X-X time, after that no food until snack–if you miss it or misbehave during it, sorry! Some people have a lot of succes with those task boards that supernanny uses. It doesn’t work for all families, but it’s a good thing to try out. Clearly defined reward/punishment systems.
I’ve also read that providing quiet spaces that are contained is helpful. Maybe a spot under the stairs with a lot of pillows where all the books, small toys, coloring, etc. stays. It can help kids to learn their own limits and give themselves breaks when they’re getting overwhelmed.
Good luck to her. Be firm, be loving!
Post # 8
I’m won’t be a mommy until December but I’ve had friends with kids like this and I’ve got to agree with Mrs. Spring. Usually kids that do these kind of things need an outlet and yes, it can be expensive to put kids into after school programs but in the long run, so worth it because they’ll learn to channel their energy and creativity. I would definitely be looking into activities that are mentally and physically stimulating/challenging for them!
Post # 9
@secondchances: Reading this made me wonder if I am really cut out for motherhood! HOLY MOLY! It’s obviously the ADHD that makes them feel like they constantly have to be “into” something, so I would guess that they definitely need to be brought to another child psych dr and be prescribed something like Ritalin.
I’m kind of wondering the same thing as Kala Way about the spanking, because Woah, those are some bad kids! I don’t mean to offend anyone on here, and I don’t necessarily know that I will be able to spank my children (we’re still debating), but my parents spanked me. With a belt! And that fear kept me out of A LOT of potential trouble! I do think kids near to fear something, but maybe not necessarily a spanking or a belt. Although I haven’t ruled out spanking because it worked so well for me and my brother and sister. But I genuinely believe that children need to fear some type of consequence. And there wasn’t anything that I feared more than my Daddy’s belt!
ETA: How does she discipline them now?
Post # 10
They need a constructive, safe outlet where they can put these behaviors to good use. See if there is an activity place for them to go, or maybe a gym where there is a rock wall.
Post # 11
I would put them in organized sports..and hopefully theyll be too worn out to cause too many problems. But these kids sound like terrors, Im surprised your friend isnt ripping her hair out.
Post # 12
I don’t think these boys are necessarily bad kids. Kids are naturally curious and creative and those traits should be encouraged by their parents. Are they challenging? Man, it sounds like it! But challenging does not equate misbehaving.
Just think, those kids could grow up to be the next generation’s great thinkers or solve some problem that improves the lives of millions. Those kinds of problem-solving and critical thinking skills are a positive, not a negative!
Post # 13
I would recommend Supernanny for this one… not kidding.
Post # 14
I think having organized super-active activities for these kids to expend their energy on would help a lot. Karate or Tae Kwon Do would help them a lot to expend energy and also learn focus and discipline. They might also get into organized skateboarding or FX biking. That might give them their daredevil fix. I think if they get into these activities, and love them (which I have a feeling, they will) then their mom can then tell them that misbehavior would mean loosing priviledges at these activities.
Post # 15
They sound like they have very little boundaries that work. Spanking might be an option if done by the father. Is he in the picture? If not, I definitely agree with others: they need an outlet. A physical one. They need to run and jump and play, perhaps soccer or other strenuous sport? That energy of theirs needs to be put to good use. Perhaps once their energy drops, they can join a mentally strenuous organization: chess club or mathletes?
I really feel for their mother. I can only imagine.
Post # 16
Um, I wouldn’t recommend spanking. Here’s the message: Let me beat you for being intelligent and creative. I think you would do better to offer to pay the future therapy bills.
I have two boys and they were very active and imaginative, but not to this degree. It sounds like there is no supervision, I mean, how did they get their hands on all the materials for a volcano project and then have the time to execute it without anyone noticing? And it takes time to find rope and tie the cat to the dog. Where are the parents???
They just need to be supervised and have their energy re-directed in more positive ways. They sound like a handful, but they could grow up and do great things with the right environment. Tell her good luck and I hope she makes it through:)