Childless Weddings

posted 3 years ago in Guests
  • poll: Did/do you want a childless wedding?

    Yes, I'd prefer my wedding free from kids

    Yes, but I'll allow a flower girl/ring bearer to attend

    No, I don't mind having children in attendance

  • Post # 2
    Member
    7842 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I dislike children. I don’t want them at my wedding. I have no close people with children, and I 100% understand if someone isnt able to make my wedding because I’ve not invited their children.

    Even when someone thinks their child is ‘good’ that definition varies widly lol. I would possibly make an exception for a newborn, but other than that, nah. Its also easier for our liquor license if we stay above legal age. Future Mother-In-Law is trying to get us to invite a 14+17 year old (legal age 19) and we still said no. Not children per say, but not adults either. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    562 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I adore children. I work with them and would love to have my own one day. I don’t want them at my wedding. This is also completely normal where I live. I’ve only been to one wedding where children were invited, and my friends brought theirs and regretted it as they couldn’t relax and enjoy it, and had to leave early when they got tired. For our wedding, it would have meant we couldn’t have invited all of the adults we wanted, as we would have been paying for several children’s seats and meals. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    697 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I was at a wedding where the couple had 3 children and they were running around and doing cartwheels during the entire reception, which was at a country club. It was fine because it was their kids, but I wouldn’t want kids I barely know acting that way at my wedding. I feel having children running around the reception makes the event less formal, which is the vibe I’m going for. 

    I would say limited funds is another reason to not allow kids. Weddings are expensive, and very few people I know are able to have an unlimited guest list. 

    I would rather invite 10-15 more adults than have those seats given to little kids.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    kiram :  No kids. None. I’m not having them at my wedding and I don’t like it when they are at weddings. They are never quite or still during the ceremony or speeches and for some reason everyone is expected to gush over how cute they are when they dance or run around. I’d be pissed to have to sit at a table with a child because it then monopolizes the convo. 

    I do want kids of my own but I’d never take them to a wedding. It’s not a place for children. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I am having family only kids and under 6 months only but that is like 2 kids. Most of my friends actually are fine with a night off, I think it helps that most have grandparents within 30 minutes and wedding is local.

    I plan on having kids of my own but won’t be taking them to weddings.

     

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    47377 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Instead of wasting energy trying to convince others that our opinion is correct, why not just let each couple do what’s best for them, without criticism?

    Post # 8
    Member
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    we would love to have children at our wedding – but due to spacing limitations we had to say no – except to immediate family and someone who will have their 1 month old. (there would have been 20+ kids if we allowed everyone!!)

    Post # 9
    Member
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    I think it definitely depends on the situation! Personally, I love seeing kids at weddings and watching them get down on the dance floor! I will likely have about 15 kids under the age of 10 at my wedding. All are kids of family members who will be coming in from out of town, so I wouldn’t dream of not inviting them. 

    I’m not inviting any non-family kids though. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3444 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

    The only kids who are attending will be my 19 yr old son, my child but no longer a child, and my 13 year old surprise daughter. (really dislike the term step for family) If its inconvenient or too much for parents to attend without their kids thats perfectly fine and they are free to decline. I love kids, I do not love kids at weddings. My definition of kid for this event is 12 and under, same as the venue cut off. If you can’t function on your own and socialize without constant adult supervision then nope. Weddings aren’t an occasion for everyone in the family in my social circle, we already have something like that yearly called a family reunion. 😎 There’s no right or wrong answer its simply a matter of preference and what works for each couple. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    6361 posts
    Bee Keeper

    View original reply
    kiram :  we had a largely childfree wedding: the only children there were DH’s 10 year old cousin and my 12 year old cousin. We had a number of reasons:

    1) We’re not really close to any other children; we had a small wedding with only very close friends and family 

    2) Kind of as above: our venue had very limited capacity and inviting children we barely know and aren’t close to would have meant not inviting adults we ARE close to

    3) Even if we had the space for children, inviting them would have changed the whole vibe, as it would have meant that about 20% of guests were child. That was not the vibe we were going for: we wanted an adult affair with fancy food, lots of alcohol, and dancing without tripping over kids sliding about on the dance floor. 

    It was a blast, and several people have commented since that they liked that there were no children there (including those with children). No-one had an issue with it, either. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I have a difficult time understanding why someone would choose to have the only children allowed for the day be IN the wedding, which is the most likely time for meltdowns. My Brother-In-Law just got married and my niece and nephew were ring bearer and flower girl, and while they were ok during the actual ceremony they refused to do the rehearsal and to take any kind of pictures with the photographer. They aren’t my pictures so ultimately I don’t care, but I didn’t want that for my own wedding. I see that preference all the time on here and I just think that’s nonsensical. 

    There are a lot of children in our life who we care a great deal about, and we were glad they could join us on our wedding day. There was not a single disruption and no one complained about being seated near them, plus it was nice to watch families have fun together on the dance floor. To each their own, though!

    Post # 14
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    This is the most self-serving post I’ve seen in a while. We get it. You think kids should be at weddings. Awesome. Good for you.  You’ve done zero to change anyone’s opinion here.

    Just because you love kids, doesn’t mean people like them any less just because they are having a child free wedding. You can stop telling yourself that now. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    2668 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    We invited children who were in our immediate families (I have 3 siblings who were aged 13, 8 and 5 at the time – they were also in our bridal party – and DH has 2 nephews who were aged 4 and 2) and nursing babies to our wedding (of which there were 2). We have absolutely nothing against children and are actually TTC our first at the moment, but we decided to keep the rest of our guestlist 18+ for a few reasons.

    Firstly, DH has a lot of underage cousins and older cousins who have young children of their own – this would have meant that a large portion of our guestlist was underage. I have a handful of underage cousins and we had some other guests with underage children (ie our friends), but 80% were DH’s family. Secondly, it would have meant that we would have had to cut other people from our guestlist (mostly our friends) as we didn’t want to have a huge wedding – we much preferred having people that we are close with over cousins that we have basically no relationship with simply because they are so much younger than us.

    Also, every wedding in DH’s family and my family for the last decade has been child-free so this is basically what our families expected before we said anything. I think we only had 1 couple decline because they couldn’t being their son (DH’s uncle and aunt who live interstate and had no one either in their home state or in our state to babysit – we’re pretty sure they would have found another excuse not to attend even if their son was invited so we weren’t too bothered).

    I don’t judge anyone who choose to invite kids to their wedding the same as how I don’t judge anyone who chooses not to invite kids – I think it’s completely up to the couple.

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