(Closed) Children age gap – what is too little?

posted 4 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: When to have the second one?

    Start now! It's ok (please explain how πŸ€”)

    Wait 6 months

    Wait an year

    Wait longer!!! (Not too long, I hoped... πŸ˜•)

  • Post # 2
    Member
    4114 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    This totally depends on you and DH and your preference. Mine are just under 2 years apart. 2 in diapers is hard. Chasing a toddler while trying to feed a newborn is comical πŸ™‚

    doctors generally say wait 12-18 months before getting pregnant again to let your body fully recover. 

    It will also depend on when you get AF back -if you’re BF, it may take awhile. I didn’t get AF back until 11 months post baby

    Post # 3
    Member
    4226 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

    I am currently pregnant with baby #1. DH and I want two or three kds in total. We want them close together. When this baby is anywhere from six months to a year old we will start TTC for baby #2. It all depends on how quickly I recover from childbirth, and how well I adjust to caring for a newborn. To be honest, seeing as it took seven months to concieve this baby, I’d rather start sooner rather than later.

    With me and my brother there are two years and nine months between us. My Mom always said she IMMENSELY regretted putting that much time between us because when I was finishing a developmental stage, my little brother was just starting it. She said that it felt like EVERYTHING took twice as long. She wishes we were closer in age so there could have been some overlap and she could have gotten it over with.

     

    Post # 4
    Member
    9799 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I wouldn’t be comfortable with a gap smaller than 2 years.  I do think you should wait 12-18 months so your body can heal and replenish.  Less than that increases risks of preterm birth, lower birth weight, and other placental issues.  Also, if you want to breastfeed your current one you need to wait to get pregnant, as getting pregnant will lower your milk supply and eventually end it.  Mine will have about a 2.5 year gap which is good for me, and I could have gone up to 3 years.  As far as when your first will understand pregnancy and you taking care of a newborn, I think closer to 3 IMO.  Before 2 they won’t care, they’ll just be needy AF.  They start becoming a bit more indepedent after 2 into 3.  Personally I like a bit more of a gap because I want to more fully enjoy each one.  I feel like when you have them super close that they both miss out a little on having you to themselves.  So 2-3 year gap would be perfect for me.  Not too close but not too far apart.  I don’t have the mindset of “getting X stage over with” because I like to enjoy each stage for both children.  Time already goes by fast enough as it is with children.

    I EBF my first and though I got my period back 7.5mo pp, I don’t think I could have sustained a pregnancy until after she was a year old when I quit pumping at work.  Before then my luteal phase was super short (7 days).  Probably could have gotten pregnant after she was a year.

    Post # 5
    Member
    303 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I am currently pregnant with #1 – so I don’t have any personal experience with this.  However, my sister in law ended up having her two children only 14 months apart.  Of course, anything is doable – how do people with twins or triplets do it!? But I do think that having two children so close in age is definitely hard.  I feel like there are some definite advantages that she would have had if her first daughter were a bit older, more verbal and a bit more self-sufficient.  Again, anything is doable, but it’s up to you and what you think you can handle/your living situation (if you have to work, or if you’re a sahm etc.). 

    Post # 6
    Member
    7426 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I think a 2-3 year age gap is ideal. Mine are 25 months apart, and it’s challenging, but I love it.

    Post # 7
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    My mom had 6 kids in 7 years. No health issues whatsoever (for my mom or the kids). Do what you want. You’ll make it work regardless!

    Post # 8
    Member
    6107 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think 2-3 year age gaps are perfect.

    Post # 9
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    I’ve heard it’s best to give your body at least 18 months between pregnancies to recouperate.

    Post # 10
    Member
    302 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I love that my siblings and I are 2 years apart. I vote start in 6 months, anticipate it taking some time.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1604 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    We want 3 or 4 children, close in age, so we’ll probably start trying for #2 whenever is safe to get pregnant after #1! I’d probably wait until at least 6-8 months after birth of #1?

    Post # 12
    Member
    1003 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    my mother made me promise to never have children 18 months apart (which is how far apart my brother and I are) she said it was hard on 

    1) me (oldest) because I didn’t really understand what was happening

    2) youngest (brother) because I still required a lot of attention

    3) my mom because she was trying to nurse, handle a newborn, while simultaneously dealing with a toddler who was just walking/talking and getting in to things

     

    ultimately, you’ll figure it out πŸ™‚

    Post # 14
    Member
    7746 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    My first two were 28 months apart, and we had our third 19 months after the second. I found the smaller gap to be far preferable to the larger. There was no neediness, and the second doesn’t remember a time without the third. The secondand third are very close.Β 

    As for two in diapers, it was far easier to get diapers entirely out of the way than to get one out of diapers and then start all over again.Β 

    Post # 15
    Member
    7746 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    My first two were 28 months apart, and we had our third 19 months after the second. I found the smaller gap to be far preferable to the larger. There was no neediness, and the second doesn’t remember a time without the third. The secondand third are very close.Β 

    As for two in diapers, it was far easier to get diapers entirely out of the way than to get one out of diapers and then start all over again.Β 

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