(Closed) Children allowed or not?

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 17
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

OMG!!! I just had this fight/ discussion with Fiance mother AND my mother. 

I’m having a destination wedding to a place in the Tennessee mountains

Fiance and I decided to cut costs and for an enjoyable evening we want an “Adults only” reception minus the kids in the wedding party (two-3 yrs olds, 4 yr old, 5yr old, and two 9 year olds) We figured that was enough children.  

So we have crayons and a table covered in butch paper and a personal DVD player with tons of movies. And a 16yr old cousin paid $20 to deal with the 4-5and 9 year olds. The two year olds are going to my granny who just loves “little angles” in a cabin our my family rented for the weekend because her partying days end at 7pm (an hour into the reception). BON VOYAGE little energizer bunnies!

Your best bet is to utilized wording “ADULTS ONLY RECEPTION” Then on the RSVP cards have “______ adult guests”  just to drive the point home.

Let people enjoy the ceremony with their children and they will be responsible for their childrens arrangements afterwards or they will forgo the reception. In the wedding planning game: you can’t please everyone.

Post # 18
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Just had my wedding on Saturday and it was No Kids!

It was awesome and quite a party!!!!!! All the parents had a REALLY good time without their kids for a night!

Post # 19
Member
1032 posts
Bumble bee

I am 25 and the youngest of my very large and prolific family. We will, therefore, include my 11 neices and nephews and no other children below high school age. I figured my brothers’ and sister’s kids have a special place and my cousins and family friends’ kids could be allowed to stay home.

Post # 20
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I’ll be 22 and my fiance will be 23 and he doesn’t have any close family with young children but several of my cousins are young. From still in the oven to 5 there are 7 of them! We’re letting all the first cousins come but no other children.

Post # 21
Member
1568 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I laughed, hard, when my grandmother asked if we were having children at the wedding and I told her we weren’t, and she replied, “Good, they take all the attention away from you!”

We just happened not to really know any children who would have been able to attend our wedding; I think our youngest guest was 21. Even if we had, I don’t know that I would have wanted them there. I do not feel comfortable around children. Unfortunately, though, if you refuse to allow children, there will be some parents who are unable to attend as a result. You risk hurting some people that way. It’s something to navigate based on the particular guest situation you have.

Post # 22
Member
1675 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My guest list currently has 17 kids under 12 and about 10 more with teens. I’m a teacher and we both volunteer with kids, so I can’t imagine leaving them out. Our church has a parent’s room where parents with screaming children can get video and sound – we’re just going to have a public service announcement asking parents to leave if their kids get cranky. We’re also having a kid friendly reception with board games, a jumpy castle and colouring. 

As to it costing more – My kids meals are $22 less than adult meals. 

Post # 23
Member
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We are, simply because there are only 3 kids who are under high school age and they are 4 and like…. 7 and 10-ish (FIs family, not sure their exact ages). All 3 are VERY well-behaved. I felt like it was too big of a pot to stir for only 3 youngins.

Now, if they were ill-mannered brats… then it would have turned out differently. I do not have a huge amount of patience for small children anyway, so the thought of someones child screaming through my wedding ceremony is one thing that would surely push me over the “bridezilla” line. I honestly think I would have a connniption fit.

Post # 24
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have a vow renewal coming up next year.  It may not but the same to some but it is the only “wedding” we have had.  We got married in a quick ceremony in Vegas before he was deployed overseas.  I have 88 adults on my guest list and 40 18->1 years old.  We are also having a night time reception… all of my friends have kids and all of my family members have kids… so for my husband and i it seemed like the thing to do. 20 of the children at my event are under 8 years old… so we have a room off the ballroom rented out as well (a very small conference room.) and if the kids get tired or bored they can go in the conference room where the staff will been screening movies for they… and they are going to have all sorts of movie snacks for them as well.

Post # 25
Member
5262 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

We got lucky – we’re allowing children, because there will only be a few to invite. Most everyone will be 16+, with a few family members excepted. 

I really understand both sides of the fence. Our venue is potentially not kid-friendly (antique artifacts and furniture abound) which would make me nervous if there were many children younger than 10 to be considered.

Post # 26
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

We had it rough, all of the children in our families are nieces/nephews of our siblings who are IN the wedding parties so we sort of had to have kids. And there were SO MANY of them, and they were all so young it was such a hard idea to get used to. But at the end of the day, they are family and we chose to have them which was the right decision.

Post # 27
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

As the Mother of Bride, we let our daughter decide for herself. Her request was adult only wedding. We love children but to keep cost down and number of people invited we did not invite children. The grooms mother called and ask if his brothers children could come. These boys are criers, loud, and cannot sit still for 5 minutes. So my daughter bowed to the pressure and these boys were a nightmare. We provided them wedding care package too keep them busy. Had special treats, food. Had hired babysitters to watch them.(Parents refuse to use them) They were to be taken care of by the Aunt during the ceremony so the grooms  parents could walk down the aisle together without them. The little darings were loud during the wedding ceremony and the grooms parents walk out with them on their arms. The parents who were in the wedding had them walking in with the wedding party acting like clowns. The worse  part was when the mother of these children pull down her son pants and let him pee on the flower plants in the patio in front of everyone. If any advice I could give stick your guns. Its your day and its about you not the family. Note the mother was just as difficult, demanding and rude as her children.

Post # 28
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I have 94 people on my prospective guest list.  Not counting the MOH’s kids (who wouldn’t come anyway – they all live in England), there are 14 kids (aged 1-12 at prospective wedding date – counting teens as adults) among belonging to those 94 adults – and that’s if no more of them get pregnant.  I’d be severely limiting the number of people that could come if I said no kids.  At least one member of the wedding party HAS to bring her kids…  

Plus, going to set up a treasure hunt (wedding is on my parents’ property – outdoors, with three houses to work around.  Muahahaha), have crayons/paper tablecloths, board games, etc.  If we end up doing a morning or afternoon wedding, there’ll be fishing, hikes through the woods, etc.  If an evening wedding (my preference), we’ll have a bonfire and they can roast marshmallows.  Coming up with stuff for the kids to do is almost as fun as planning the rest.

Post # 29
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We are inviting children, we probably will only have 15-20 children under the age of 12 though. I work as a babysitter/nanny and am also inviting the kids I watch with the exception on one family because I’ve seen the way they listen to their parents and while they listen very well to me I don’t want to be worrying about that on my wedding day!

We have extra space (additional room off main dining and dance floor) in the venue we rented so we’re going to set up some coloring pages for them and also for the enjoyment of guests of all ages we’re going to set up 3 wii’s and tv’s and people can have a bowling tournament!

 

Post # 30
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am 26 and my fiance is 30 and we will be including neices and nephews of all ages but no other childen will be there. We are including a line on the invite that offers childcare (friends of my college ages brother) in a suite at the hotel guests are staying in during the ceremony and reception if they are interested. It makes the weekend a little more kid friendly for families that have to travel without having too many kids there.

Post # 31
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: September 2011

We aren’t having kids at the wedding due to the fact that we are paying for it, so we didn’t see the point in spending a lot of money on the kids to eat, when they would barely touch their $30 plate of food.  I’m also in college still, so we are on a strict budget.

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