(Closed) Children allowed or not?

posted 10 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 32
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It’s a decision you need to talk over with your Fiance. My Fiance and I am planning to have only 1 child and that is the flower girl who will be 9 at the wedding. My god daughter who will be 5 was supposed to be a Flower Girl too. I decided to take her out b/c at her mom’s wedding she got really fussy and sleepy at the reception. She wanted to be held the whole reception and of course came running to me to hold her. I wanted to dance and have a good time but couldn’t do so because she wanted me to hold her.  She also got really irritated right before the ceremony, and we were scared she wasn’t going to walk down the aisle (she made it, but she was mad). Kids are just so unpredictable (I guess adults are too at times ;-D). We love kids, but we want an adult night where everyone can be relaxed with no worries. The 9 year old Flower Girl will be taken back to the hotel after the ceremony. Good luck!

Post # 33
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

kids are welcome at our wedding and their names are on the invitations. should all of our invited guests bring their children, we will have 67 of the little monkeys coming (not including the 14 infants.) We are having a day wedding: 11am church, 1pm reception and ending at about 5.30pm. We are both older (39 and 41) and so the majority of our friends have children. We made a conscious choice that our wedding will be a family affair for our guests.

i’m a teacher, so it doesn’t seem too much of a drama. our venue is extremely child-friendly, the reception is outside, and we are making sure that they will be entertained in their own area with their own menu of party food (PUT THAT BLOODY OYSTER DOWN! GET BACK TO YOUR HOTDOG!) We also have engaged the services of 2 bad-arse young teachers to assist in keeping them all occupied.

but, if we were to have held our reception in the evening, we would probably not have invited children apart from young immediate family members who would be of an age to enjoy the evening, and independent enough to also let their parents enjoy the night.

Post # 34
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We are having an adult’s only reception because we didn’t have the space for children.

Post # 35
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

kids are a HUGE part of our family. during all of our family gatherings,  the kids (from 18 months – 17yrs old) have always danced and partied just as hard as the adults lol! we are most def having kids at our wedding. i couldnt have it any other way.

Post # 36
6571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

Our wedding was very child friendly, but I’m not one for being the center of attention so I would have been happy if a baby cried and people looked at her instead of me (which didn’t happen). Plus, we only had a few babies, all of which we’re very close to them and their parents, so I was glad to have them there with us.

Post # 37
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’re only allowing/inviting children of the bridal party.  Although we suspect that even the people in the bridal party might be looking for a fun “adult” night out and are likely to hire a babysitter and leave their kids at home anyway.

Post # 38
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We had a hard choice to make when it came to children. We were worried that only having children that were in the bridal party attend would upset some parents, but we also didn’t want to upset anyone else by saying their children couldn’t come…

Most of my family and FH’s family have very well behaved children and parents with enough sense to take them outside should they act up, however, FH’s brother and his wife have 2 horribly behaved children who completely ruined their wedding. I mean, tantrums on the floor during the vows, begging to be held during the vows, hitting the other children etc. Neither FH’s brother or his wife said anything to the kids, and when my FH’s older sister reprimanded the child, the brother’s wife got mad at her. I wanted to avoid this at the wedding because I probably wouldn’t have let it get near as bad as it did before I went nuts and locked the kid in a closet.

So, with this in mind and also being aware of how family oriented FH’s family is, we’ve decided to allow children ages 5 and up at the wedding and reception. That way, we can still have our neice and nephew and exclude the misbehaved kids. We are simply addressing our invitations to the parents and to the children that are of age. If we get called about it, we will simply say that the ceremony and reception area are full and we wouldn’t be able to comfortably seat everyone if the young children were to come. Plus, we wanted our guests to be able to enjoy themselves without worrying about fussy toddlers.

Most of our guests have been told by word of mouth so that if they need a babysitter, they can make arrangements.

Post # 39
2142 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’re having a “children” room for the half dozen under 12 year olds that may be there. If we said no children then even less of our out-of-town family could make it. Our venue is being wonderful and not charging us extra for the room since food won’t be in it, we will just have some books and blankets set out and maybe a laptop playing a movie. We think the music and dancing in the other room will keep them entertained as well (swing has the effect apparantly, yay for us!)

Post # 40
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@06anchored08:you just made me laugh so hard at the energizer bunny comment!  no kids here below 12…we have one cousin who is a super sweet kid but shes the one that stands directly infiront of you at the shower… or is in every picture and her parents dont say a word… would love to not invite her id rather not have her in EVERY pic… as much as we do love her

Post # 41
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

To each his or her own, but my home is on the National Historic Registry and it does just fine with a kid in it!

And we had tons of kids ranging in age from newborn to 18 at our wedding.  One of the groomsmen commented afterward, “There were kids there?”.  All hail the baby sitter!

Post # 42
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

We have chose no kids at the wedding  and reception. But there are a couple exceptions, my 2 nieces and 3 nephews will be there, there are no other nieces or nephews so it worked out ok. I say just close family children I guess. To each their own, exactly. I just don’t think our venue is a place for young children late at night, and on our small budget to include all children would have been an extra 30 people. I have actually had a couple of friends who have recently got married and told me they wished they had chose an adults only wedding and reception, because as much as we love our friends and family and thier kids, not all of them can control their children 🙂

Post # 43
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I feel terrible for asking this question, but…is it alright to have some children?

Or, let me rephrase: can we allow children except for the two unspeakably ill-behaved children of a couple that I don’t like anyway?

The man is a friend of my Fiance’, and his wife has 2 children. This woman makes my skin crawl and I don’t want her there anyhow, and I certainly don’t want to deal with her horribly bratty children. I love children as a whole, and I welcome them at our wedding, but there is a very real possibility that these children will act out and nothing will be done about it.

That said, though my Fiance’ has known this man for years, they are not and have never really been close…he’s just part of the big group of friends that Fiance grew up with. I’m really not trying to be bratty. I just abhor these people and their children. Is there a graceful way to ask them to leave their kids at home, even though I want everyone else’s kids there?

Post # 44
5 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m also stuck with this dilema!
I come from a very large family and  a lot of my cousins have children. My Fiance has a smaller family and all of our guests will be out of town- with his family traveling the furthest. So far we have about 200 guests and 30 some kids on top of that. I get along great with all of these kids (except for a couple of them) but their ages range from 1 year to 14 years. I would feel terrible doing a 12 and up deal especially if a family has 3 kids and only one can come to the wedding.

The nice thing about our venue is that it’s at a hotel/resort. We thought this would be great since our guests are all out of town and it could be a mini vacation for them- with or without the kids.

I’m not so much worried about the kids stealing the show or being obnoxious- I’m more worried about the cost of an ever increasing guest list. And I just don’t want to offend anyone!

Post # 45
5422 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I dont think its fair to invite some children and not all.  I’m having a destination wedding and were not having anyone younger the FI’s younger sister who will be 20.  So the next oldest will be 18 (his cousin) and she’s not being invited to not have to invite her younger siblings which are far too young.  Maybe havign an age cutoff? as in, no one younger than X age invited.  Especially since your having an evening fiesta

Post # 46
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m not including children in the wedding. My Fi’s brother will be 13 by the time the wedding comes arond and that will be the youngest we have. I have some younger cousins who are too wild and I won’t be able to tolerate them running around the reception venue.

How do you subtly indicate on the invites that children aren’t allowed? When you address the invite just to the parents is it automatically implied that way?


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