(Closed) Children around troubled family member?

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
2043 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

A cousin of mine murdered his own mother because she wouldn’t give him money for his habit.  Yes he lived there, no he wasn’t getting any help for his addiction.  This shit is real and I would be terrified for my Mother-In-Law.  I also wouldn’t bring my children anywhere near this time bomb.

I’d be looking into whether or not your state has a Baker Act equivalent (involuntary admission to a pscyhiatric facility)

Post # 17
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

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honeybee1234 :  I had one of those in my family when I was a child.  We knew pretty early on that something wasn’t right with him, and he HATED kids (violent drunk), so we just avoided him at family gatherings.  I still had an awesome time at those gatherings with the rest of the family.

I wouldn’t take the children to the in laws house for visits while he is living there, however only you can make the call on family gatherings.  I would be in the mind of taking the children, but keeping a close eye on the situation and being ready to gather the kids and leave if it does turn sour.  I doubt I would not go just because of this one guy though. 

Post # 18
Member
2561 posts
Sugar bee

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honeybee1234 :  everything else aside (although they are still concrete reasons to keep your kid away), someone threatening active shooting would be 100% out of my life, especially my kids. 

Even if that meant never showing up to family events because he is there. Who is to say he wont have the same mentality if he gets pissed off at a family member ? Even if a baseless threat would show me that they are mentally unstable. 

In my field of work, we don’t take these things lightly so maybe i am a little more sensitive to it than others. 

Post # 19
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee

Wow this might be the easiest question ever asked on the Bee!

The answer is NO, do NOT allow him around your children.

Post # 20
Member
8488 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
honeybee1234 :  Our families are both riddled with addicts and people who just generally make really poor decisions. The way I looked at it was, is my job to protect a grown-up’s feelings or to protect my child’s well-being? Grandma’s sad that the kids can’t stay overnight. Well sorry grandma, maybe stop popping pills. Grandpa’s embarassed that I took a butterscotch away from a 1-year-old? Try using common sense sometime gramps, life is easier. 

Don’t ever put your child’s physical or mental well-being at risk to save a grown-up from getting hurt feelings.

Post # 21
Member
635 posts
Busy bee

Nope. I’ve disowned family for far less than this and one side effect is not seeing family members that I do enjoy spending time with. Oh well. This is a no brainer. 

Post # 22
Member
2475 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

Nope.  Disregarding the immediate danger to your kids, you are also teaching them that violent drug addicts are safe people to be around simply by taking them there.  Ask your husband if this is really what he wants to teach his kids?  If other family members want to see the kids, then you meet in a public place or your place, without dangerous Brother-In-Law.  A public place is better so that if he does show up with them, you can leave immediately.

Post # 23
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee

You should have someone call the police again and follow up on the report about him threatening to shoot his co workers. This should be taken SUPER seriously in this climate! Kids are getting arrested and looked into because of instagram posts they make that their classmates report. Just follow up on the report against them. And stand firm about not being around this person with your family. Don’t show up to those events. If your mother in law says anything about something violent he did, or said you call and report it to someone. 

Post # 24
Member
3725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

No. Don’t let your kids around him. 

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