(Closed) children at formal ceremony

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

This is a hot button thingymajig, and you may get responses you don’t like here…

My response may also be a response you don’t like. I say that you can’t really ask her politely, and that I don’t really see any reason why they can’t come. I don’t see why they couldn’t be there, really. However, if you’re concerned then why not hire a babysitter who can watch them during the ceremony and take them out if they make a fuss?

Post # 4
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Weddings are about love and family and kids are part of that. It’s hard to ask someone to leave behind their family on a day all about love and joining families. 

You’re most likely worried about them making noise? Where’d their dad? Can he not sit with them in the back row? 


Post # 5
9549 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would let her knkow that yyour family can’t watch the kids. They need to have a designated person who can takkke them out if they get fussy – this person obviously shouldn’t be a close family member, who would miss the ceremony. But I, personally, wouldn’t tell her that they can’t come at all.

Post # 6
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It is your day.  If you dont want children there… say so.  Hire a babysitter.  Get ready for people to not agree with your wishes of no children and stick to what you want.  I dont like kids at formal weddings and I am not afriad to say so.

Post # 7
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

You are the best judge of whether the kids can behave themselves during the ceremony. However, they will need someone to watch them during photos, getting ready, and at other points during which your sister/MOH will be indisposed. A family member or person who is similarly involved in the festivities and cannot otherwise leave the room if the kids act up should not be responsible for them.  I recommend hiring a babysitter. From there it’s your call as to whether they should be present at all.

Post # 8
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bridestobee:  Such a tough one to handle.  Love kids, and will likely not explicitly say ‘no kids’, but I’ve thought of hiring an ECE worker to be on site and look after kids especially during the ceremony.  I’m really just horrified of kids crying during the ceremony or yelling during speeches.  Other than that, little kids in tuxes and fancy dresses bustin’ a move on the dance floor couldn’t be more adorable.  But I agree with PP, your parents can’t be the ones watching the kids!  They need to be watching their little girl marry her prince.

Post # 9
2300 posts
Buzzing bee

@bridestobee:  Well, first off no your parents cant watch the kids and to even suggest that is foolish and selfish on her part.  Im guessing she already had her marriage and I assume that your parents were there for that one. So why do you get shafted?


As for the kids tell her to leave them home. Tell her its an adult only event. I see no reason to drag children to these things. I can’t stand it when they cry, throw a fuss and all the things kids do. When I was a child I was not taken to one wedding. It was my parents night out, and frankly what would I have done? No doubt thrown a fit cause there was nothing for me to do and I didn’t like the food being served.


Try to find a sitter fo the kdis as others have suggested that way you can present her with this as you tell her that there are no kids.

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