Post # 1
A lot of our family is coming to vegas from back east and a few have kids and while I know I have to allow them to bring their kids because it’s far from home, what about in-town guests? A few of my friends have said “Don’t worry, we get it my mom/dad will watch the kids” but is it OK to ask other local guests to get a sitter/parent?? If we allow all the kids we’re going to have to cut 20 adults off our A list. I have tried and tried to cut the list down to accommodate everyone but we’re kind of down to the wire. Our venue is 200 and we’re at 200. 20 additional kids would royal screw us.
Post # 2
I guess first question, is it about the principle of no kids, or is it about the space?
I’m asking because, if your guest list is 200 and 200 is your max capacity at the venue, you’re unlikely to get a 100% yes response. Or, do you already have 200 yes RSVPs?
Post # 3
You don’t have to invite any kids you don’t want to ;provided not breaking up families). Don’t invite in town guest kids and be done with it.
Post # 4
Gemstone : we haven’t sent out all the invitation because of this reason. It’s a capacity and not money issue 🙁
Post # 5
scissorgirl : ok, I was hoping someone would say that. 1 family has 7 kids!!!
Post # 6
You don’t have to invite all kids. Sounds like the invited kids are family and the “left out” kids are friends’ kids. That’s perfectly ok. And it’s a headcount issue to boot–which supports your picking and choosing certain kids even more. It’s not reasonable to expect families to make a long distance wedding without kids that are young enough to need looking after. Most people get that.
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
We invited out of town kids but not local kids. Everyone understood and no problems! We couldn’t have fitted all the local kids in, much like you, but if we hadn’t invited out of town kids my brother and SIL wouldn’t have been able to come, and I would have felt terrible asking my Out of Town bridesmaid to leave her two at home as well.
Post # 8
organise a baby sitter for the ‘out of town’ guests?
Post # 9
Thank you all so much. I’m glad to hear that it’s more usual then I thought it would be. It’ll really save us in the long run to just not invite local kids
Post # 10
We’re seriously talking about a sitter for the ceremony, but sucking it up for the reception. We are CFBC and would prefer to have none at either, but we know his family won’t go for it for both.
Post # 11
We invited all the kids.. but the majority of our out of town guests left them at home (woohoo! parents weekend to relax!) while the relatively local guests, or guests who knew the area well, all ended up bringing their kids. We gave them a list of sitters, which some decided to get and others didn’t. In any case it worked out fine.
If it’s a sure thing that out of towners will all bring their kids, I would just invite the out of town kids, unless a local group has a baby that is too young for a sitter
Post # 12
miam : I wouldnt invite intown kids. You dont really have to ask parents to get a sitter, just make sure you address the invitation to the parents only. Make sure the rsvp you get back only is for the couples and they dont add their kids. 20 extra kids at a reception is a lot, for me at least. I did the same for my wedding. The only kids we invited were our nieces and nephews (which were about 12 kids). Everyone else had 35 kids between them so it was an easy decision to invite just the adults. Stick firm to your decision if you decide to do that.
Post # 13
The only kids we are allowing are in the immediate family (his nieces and nephews) and the flower girls and their siblings. My plan was to allow out of town family to bring kids (obviously, since they’re traveling), but I don’t think we actually have any family with kids traveling now. I didn’t invite my local friend’s children (by just listing adults on the invite)- I was worried they would just add their name to the RSVPs but so far no one has 🙂 (If I happen to get asked I will let them know I love their kids, but due to the occupancy limit we could only allow the children in the bridal party.)
Post # 14
My family has been hosting adult only/mostly weddings, for almost 50 years. No one assumes their non-adult children will be invited (almost all weddings are evening and formal).
The “out of town only” idea wouldn’thave flown, with our family. That would have meant that my daughter would have invited her cousins (non-local), that she only has met twice in her life, yet the groom’s cousins (local and sees about 6 times a year), would be forced to stay home. Most weddings are pretty strictly 21 and up – our legal alcohol age. Since that’s the way it’s been, for so long, no one really questions it.
Post # 15
latrisharenee : that’s what I planned too. My niece and nephew are part of the bridal party so I said “only them”