(Closed) Children at the wedding?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
  • poll: Is it inappropriate to have kids at a wedding reception?
    Yes, children have no place there. They should never be at a reception. : (18 votes)
    26 %
    No, of course they should be there, your fiance's family is crazy. : (19 votes)
    28 %
    It's okay that they come as long as they leave very early . : (1 votes)
    1 %
    It's okay they come as long as their parents keep a good watch on them all night. : (27 votes)
    39 %
    Other Option, please explain. : (4 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @BriansBride:  I have been to weddings with and without children.  DH and I had a child free wedding.  I think you should do whatever you want; HOWEVER…you either need to invite all children or none.  It’s in bad taste to just invite your nieces and nephews but not anyone else’s kids (especially the out of towners you mentioned).


    Consistency is key.  All kids or no kids are the appropriate option.

    Post # 4
    9082 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We had children at our wedding and they weren’t a problem at all.

    Having a child-free wedding is okay, but I think it’s an all or nothing deal. You can’t nitpick who to invite and who not to.

    Post # 5
    4893 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I think it should be the bride and groom’s decision whether or not there’s kids at the wedding. It’s YOUR wedding, for Pete’s sake! Your Future Mother-In-Law is the one being offensive. 

    But I have to disagree with the PP… as long as there’s a clear cutoff (only neices and nephews, only first cousins or closer, over the age of 12, etc) then you don’t have to do all-or-nothing. 

    Post # 6
    355 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Honestly, I’ve never been to a wedding without children. We are doing a small destination wedding and sadly, we have no kids in our immediate family! Fiance and I keep complaining how we have no kids to invite! We are very family oriented people and feel that kids bring lots of happiness and joy to the people surrounding them. My cousins and friends need to have babies! haha 

    Post # 7
    8394 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Kids or no kids should be the couple’s decision IMO. I do think it’s a little off-putting when only some children are invited though, even if they are close family.

    Post # 8
    9198 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    @BriansBride:  We had a bunch of kids at our wedding.  To me, weddings are joyous family affairs and it wouldn’t feel right without the little ones there.  I don’t think I’ve ever been to a “child-free” wedding.  

    It’s your wedding, just politely tell them that this is important to you.

    Post # 9
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    We invited only our nieces and nephews and it was wonderful.  it does not have to be an all or nothing approach.  It is very common to invite children in the family.  they came to the reception.  those are some of the best photos!

    Post # 10
    1828 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    I have been to both types of weddings as well but what is different for me as opposed to the PPs is that only certain children were invited. As long as your rule is consistent then there is no problem. In other words, ALL nieces and nephews, or ALL family children, or ALL children over 10…whatever rule you pick you have to stick with it.

    As for not getting along with your inlaws about this, what about YOUR family? Would they be upset if none of the children were invited? But most if all it’s what YOU, as a couple want!

    Post # 11
    46417 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    There is no ONE answer. Weddings are different so naturally the decisions made about them are different.

    Each couple has to do what’s right for them. As long as decisons are consistently applied  ( only immediate family, up to and including nieces and nephews, children of those travelling from out of town , no children under age 10 except the wedding pary,etc etc), it doesn’t matter what your cutoff point is.

    Post # 12
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here…. lol

    In my lifetime, I have been to oodles of Weddings… from the first time as a Toddler until now in my 50s

    And every Wedding has been different in regards to the Guest List

    There is NO RIGHT or WRONG answer on this

    Like I said I was a Toddler Flower Girl at 2 or 3, and have rocked the night away in my teens

    But I have also been the child on more than one occasion who went to a Ceremony and not to the Reception (or just to the Dinner portion, and then off back to the Hotel with a Babysitter)

    None of those were incorrect

    The couple did what they wanted to do… or as per the custom in their family

    (Sounds like your Fiance’s Family have different traditions in this regard that you are used to)

    I agree with @Lana_Rose: (Reply # 2) the most important thing no matter what you decide is to be consistent with your Guest List.

    So No Kids – No Kids under age ___ – Only Nieces & Nephews – Only Nieces, Nephews & First Cousins etc.

    Make a workable rule and STAY WITH IT

    Then if anyone should ask… you have the perfect answer.

    ie… No Kids, other than those in the Bridal Party

    Kids only for the Ceremony & Dinner Hour


    Hope this helps,

    PS… I VOTED OTHER, as it most closely expressed my opinion.


    Post # 13
    473 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I think kids make a wedding. My flower girl (cousin’s kid, 4) was the star of the showandmyfriend’s kid (2) was adorable all dressed up. in total about 8% of our guests were under 18 and it wouldn’t have been nearly as fun without them.

    Post # 14
    2808 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    we’ve only got a handful of kids on the guest list, since those are the only kids we know. but if we’d had less, and people weren’t traveling (it’s a destination wedding for most of our guests- people either have to travel by plane, or drive up to an hour and a half), we probably would have gone kid-free. 

    i love kids. don’t get me wrong. but i’ve been to weddings where kids have caused nightmares. on the other end of the spectrum, i’ve been to weddings where kids have been amazingly well behaved. it depends on the kids, and the parents. if the parents aren’t watching their children, it causes a problem.

    Post # 16
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I agree with the PP who basically said all or nothing. That being said the decision is up to you. It is your wedding. It is your decision if you want kids or not.

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