Children at weddings?

posted 1 year ago in Guests
Post # 16
1557 posts
Bumble bee

we had children at our wedding, and I had a blast with them dancing and taking silly photobooth pics. but I love children, so for me it made the atmosphere better. the pro photos with candid shots of us with the kids are so adorable. also for me, weddings are about family … and children are obviously a wonderful embodiment of family and love. i can’t say I noticed any noises during the ceremony, and we had two tiny babies there. 

Post # 17
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

missyjz :  We had a cocktail style wedding with a few babes in arms, a couple of threeish year olds and about 4 7-12 year olds.  It was totally fine, no kids made a noise during the ceremony (but I wouldn’t have cared if they did) They got some of the adults out on the dancefloor and they basically just ran around while their parents kept a loose eye on them.  I didn’t plan anything for them except for kids meals (nuggets and chips from memory) but the pub did have a small room with some kids stuff in it.  They mainly had a blast dancing and my friends daughter caught the bouquet which was hilarious. 

All our kids were family and my best friends daughter.  Other friends with kids didn’t have their children invited (babes in arms were) and everyone was fine with it. 

Post # 19
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2019

Most of my family have kids and I know probably most wouldn’t go unless I invited their kids so we are choosing to invite them. Quite a few of the people live out of state so we’re hoping not everyone attends. For me it came down to I would rather invite peoples kids then have them not come we kept are guest list down to family and close friends. Are venue kids meals are 3-9 and still pretty exspensive so I can understand why a lot of people say no kids. Like people have said before I do hope if they bring their kids they can behave and watch them. You could always hire someone to watch the kids at the wedding. You could just limit it to close family. I look at it if you don’t want to bring your kid to the wedding you will make arrangements not to. It also depends on what kind of wedding your planning and where it’s at. But I’ve also seen brides get mad when they invite parents only and they choose not to come because they don’t have someone to watch their kids. I think the best advice is to invite parents and maybe make accepting to those who ask. I wish there was a polite way to word in the invite if you bring your kids you need to be responsible for them if not find other arrangements. But if you choose not to invite kids stick to your guns and unless someone paying for your wedding it’s your choice. 

Post # 20
12132 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

missyjz :  I would absolutely invite the friend couples without their children. However, I would not make an exception for one friend’s kids if they ask, which incidentally would be quite rude, since that wouldn’t be fair to your other friends. Either offer to recommend or supply childcare or the friend will come on his own or not at all. You are not obligated. 

I’ve been to numerous weddings with children that I can objectively say work out very well. But in my circles we typically limit to immediate family kids, our friends and family members are responsible and really do watch their children, and weddings are an intergenerational family event with something for everyone, not a club scene.

Post # 21
1039 posts
Bumble bee

We had maybe 15 under 13. There were no issues at all. 

I have actually never been to a child free wedding. I’ve been to maybe 10 weddings in total and I’ve never witnessed an issue with kids. But maybe I’ve just been lucky the parents in my family are respectful because according to this site kids always ruin the ceremony. 

Post # 22
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m anti kids at weddings. The focus is then on the kids and not the couple getting married. We caused some family drama not inviting the family kids but there would have been 30-40 children! I don’t like other people’s kids that much to be honest. And it’s so expensive. And I think a wedding with adults and alcohol is no place for a child. And we spent a fortune on our DJ and want our friends and family to party with us. And honestly, no one declined our invite that had kids – we let them know 8 months in advance and they all figured it out. 

Post # 23
2811 posts
Sugar bee

We had I think 15-17 kids under 9 at our wedding and it was totally fine!

We had a craft/colouring table for them so they were kept entertained and they could have 1-2 parents watching a whole group of them at a time. That way it wasn’t like each parent had to entertain each child and couldn’t really enjoy their evening. It was also outside so if the kids got restless during the reception they could just run off and play in sight of their parents. 

For the ceremony you could have your officiant make a gently worded announcement at the beginning that tells parents a nice quiet spot that they can take their kids if they get restless/noisy – at the same time they talk about turning off cellphones etc.  

Post # 24
6646 posts
Bee Keeper

We had a no kids wedding and it was perfect. That said, none of our close friends or siblings have kids, and we did have declines because some couldn’t find childcare (which we were totally fine with). So you do have to consider that if your friends and fam have small kids that you are likely to get more declines. 

Post # 25
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

It ended up working out to not be an issue, but there was no way I’d have kids at my wedding. But then again, I don’t like kids.

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