(Closed) Children at Weddings

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

this is the reason why i am not having a ring bearer or flower girl in my wedding – i want NO kids at the reception and no children to scream and cry at my ceremony – so no kids period for me.

i do think its kinda rude to ask them to do just the ceremony – because you are asking the parents of the kids to have to leave to take them somewhere.

perhaps if you REALLY want them in the wedding, talk to your aunt/uncle about having a babysitter on site for the two kids that way the reception is still no kids and they dont have to run home inbetween????

Post # 4
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think if kids are in the wedding, you kind of have to invite them to the reception.  We’re having a “no kids” wedding too, but the flower girl will be coming to the reception.

Keep in mind that if there’s just one or two kids, someone will probably come and pick them up after appetizers or dinner.  They likely will not stay the whole time.

Post # 5
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

i also think it would kind of suck for them to have to leave during the wedding. if they’re in the ceremony, your family would just have to suck it up and understand their reasoning for being there at the reception.

Post # 6
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Are the kids in your family in the immediate family or extended? I am having an adult reception with the exeption of my immediate family including nephews & neices; like 5 of them. There’s a lot of people that do this and they way I see it is that I’m paying so it’s my ultimate decision or “we” my fiance and I! Also I know that these kids are well behaved and my brothers & sisters will keep them in line. Some of our friends have kids and they are wild!

Post # 7
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I think you can get away with having them at the reception if they’re members of your Bridal Party. Others will (or should) understand the reason they’re there.

Personally, I’d ask their parents what they prefer. Mom & Dad might not want to deal with taking care of the kids at the reception & will want to bring them home.

Post # 8
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

We only allowed our nephew at our wedding. Cuz he was IN the wedding. And of course our niece, but she was about 8 weeks shy of coming into the world by then =].

It’s easier if you include immediate family children versus extended. And if the niece and nephew are little, the parents likely won’t WANT to bring them to the ceremony if they aren’t in it. Kids that small don’t realy know what’s going on and it’s more of a pain to bring them for a 30 minute ordeal, make them sit quietly, then take them home, and come back.

Post # 9
1523 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

No kids under 12 at our wedding. There won’t be babysitters provided or anything like that because I have been to a wedding that provided a babysitter and most of the kids were on the dance floor or sitting with parents in the reception rather than eating pizza with the babysitter.

Post # 10
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We are in the same boat.  My Fiance has nieces and a nephew that will be in the wedding and the only children allowed at the reception.  We are still charged $22 per child for chicken fingers and french fries and I refuse to pay that for any additional children.  And I don’t want the screaming and crying and parenting … I want my friends and family to have a good time and not worry about their children.

Post # 11
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

I’ve both been the kid just invited to the ceremony, and the babysitter who took the kids home after the ceremony.  I think it worked out fine actually, and the parents understood both times.  Maybe you can pay for the babysitter, or suggest that they find one who drives so that they don’t have to take the kids home themselves.  Also make sure that the kids are in tons of pictures so the outfits will be remembered!

Post # 12
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

i think if you don’t mind having them stay at the reception, they can stay, but if you’d prefer to keep it kid free, you can have someone come get them after they are in the ceremony. i personally don’t want any kids at the ceremony/reception, but Boyfriend or Best Friend has a niece and nephew. I told him they can come to the ceremony (but not be IN it) but can’t come to the party, because it will be a black tie night time event and truthfully, I don’t want kids there!

Post # 13
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010 - Ritz-Carlton, Half Moon Bay

i think if they are “in” the wedding party then people will understand why his niece and nephew are there but other children were not invited.  however, i do agree that it would probably be best if the niece and nephew were invited to the reception as well.  if the parents don’t think the kids would last the night, maybe a babysitter could come pick them up?

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