(Closed) Children attending your wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@ReignofElegance: Don’t focus on who isn’t invited.  But focus on who is.  Invite people by name and dont’ include kids.  If people ask, tell them you are not including kids.  There is no reason to ask people to not bring their kids, as they won’t be invited.

Post # 4
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@andielovesj: Yes! Invite who’s invited, don’t mention (on invitations anyway) who is not. It is rude. I know lot’s of people disagree with this and I don’t want to start a war, but if I can convert just one person to believe it’s rude to mention people who are not invited to your wedding on the invitation I’ll be happy.

If someone asks you, you can politely say “I love little Suzy, but we’re not able to accommodate children at our wedding, I hope that doesn’t inconvenience you.” This is true (you are not able to because you do not wish to) but it doesn’t make someone feel like they are being excluded.

Also, if you can swing it in the budget/logistics having a “kids room” with a nanny or two is a very considerate thing to do.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s not rude to dictate who is invited to your wedding. I personally don’t think that weddings are appropriate for small children which is why we did not invite them. We were firm on our decision but thankfully no one even questioned it. I always find it funny when I hear about parents freaking out over their bundles being excluded. It’s not their party and they don’t need to be there. If they have such a problem with it then they can stay home. 

Post # 6
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Of course it’s not rude to dictate who’s invited, it’s rude to expressly address who is NOT invited (e.g. “no children” or “adults only”)

Of course rude is also a hugely subjective thing so while I wish everyone agreed with me (I also wish I had unlimited financial capacities and could stay home and play with my dog all day) I certainly don’t think anywone is a bad person for not agreeing with me, I just think the world would be a nicer place if they did.

Post # 7
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

@Lexy: I agree with you.  I think it is odd to write adults only or a longer version there of.  Just as it would be weird to mention “please don’t bring your mail carrier” or “No grandparents”  Of course people wouldn’t they weren’t invited if they weren’t named on the invite.  Though I am sure they are lovely people they weren’t invited. 

 

Post # 8
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We are not having children at our wedding, but we are also having a Destination Wedding and so I made the decision to put on my invites that it would be an adult night only. I personally dont see that as being rude. And if peple cant come to my wedding because of that, then they just cant come. A lot of people just assume that they can bring their children to events like this, and some people just need to see it in black and white. Then what happens if people dont ask and just show up with their children? You cant turn them away at the door. Now that would be rude.

Post # 9
Member
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We are simply putting “Adult Reception Begins at 5:30pm” I don’t think this is rude at all.

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