Post # 1
I was going to do NO KIDS, then I decided to possibly include only those that are in the wedding…then I got bullied by one of my FI’s relatives who told me I ONLY TRAVEL WITH MY KIDS (come to find out they are 12 and 15) I was babysitting by 12! Anyway, I dont know what to do now because I think the proper thing to do is make arrangements for your kids or decline…am I right? I am considering making a kids room with food and games and a chaperone…
1) Can I include only wedding party kids
2) What do I say to Miss pushy?
3) What is the reasonable cut off age for adult vs child?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2020 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA
We don’t have any small children in our wedding party. We invited kids over 12 to the reception (only family, though, but that’s kind of easy for us because any of our friends that have kids still have babies). We mostly didn’t want any small children there because it’s an evening reception and I genuinely don’t think it’s an appropriate setting for small children. A few family members are still bringing their small kids to our 4:00 ceremony (and I’m keeping my fingers VERY crossed that they don’t act up or cause a distraction, but there’s nothing else we can seem to do or say at this point), but otherwise we told them a babysitter will watch kids at the hotel where our reception is during the festivities.
For your situation, I think it’s reasonable to say that your wedding party little one is an exception, but otherwise I think it’s okay to allow kids over 12. I mostly didn’t want any little ones to be fussing and crying on our big day, and I think 12 year olds are certainly past that 🙂 If you say you were babysitting by the age of 12, isn’t that an indication of a 12 year old being mature enough to know how to handle him/herself in this type of social setting? If you make this rule, will you need to include a lot of other children beyond the 12 and 15 year old of the bully?
Post # 4
Thank you and to answer your question about including many other 12+ kids I really dont know, my Fiance has this unbelievably huge family and he has not kept in contact with them so he doesnt even know who has what. He is only inviting Aunts Uncles and First Cousins which puts it over a hundred (I swear) Now we just pray they dont want to all travel-is that horrible? I agree with you that by age of 12 one can be counted on to behave but I really dont know what that will mean in terms of numbers, so unfortunately I think I need to set an arbitrary rule to deal with whatever might come.
Post # 5
Yes, it’s fine. It’s unfortunate that she’ll have to miss the party, but there are a lot of things in life (kids included) that keep you from going to everything you’d like. You can offer to help her make childcare arrangements, but you’re not obligated to give into the bullying.
Post # 6
it’s okay. you are the bride and you should be able to make your own decisions. i am only allowing babies and the children of relatives. i’m not allowing older children of, say, my parents’ friends (the ones who would probably be bored out of their minds anyway).