Post # 1
So we are having a mostly childfree reception. The only children I want there are the flower girls (ages 5 and 7) however Fiance has some family travelling from out of country to be here so we can’t expect them not to bring their children (ages 3,4,5,7). from my side I only have 1 friend that has children already (ages 1 and 3) and talking weddings with her one day she assumed children arent invited and I basically confirmed that we aren’t really inviting kids except the wedding party.
Well I received the rsvp of my friend’s mom last night and she rsvp’d no. Part of my thinks maybe she is declining so she can babysit and my friend can come to the wedding (Although my friend is married so I would think the husbands parents would be able to watch the kids) I wonder if I should say something to my friend alongthese lines ” hey (insert small talk) By the way, I received you mom’s rsvp and she can’t come. I really hope it isn’t to babysit because if that’s the case please bring your kiddies because I want you all there!”
I worry that if she shows up without her kids but sees the other kids there she will be disappointed. On the other hand, all of his out of country family hasn’t actually rsvp’d yet so I don’t know how many kids will be coming in total and want to avoid inviting hers if there will only be 3-4 kids total (including flower girls) Also, it’s possible the mom rsvp’d no for another reason, in which case I don’t want to bring up the kid issue unnecessarily.
Should I say something? should I wait until I know if FI’s family is coming? ahhhh i dont know what to doooo please help!!!
Post # 3
Just let kids come. Who cares?
Post # 4
Maybe you should just ask why her mom isn’t coming, don’t bring up babysitting.
But if you don’t want kids at the wedding, then don’t let kids come.
It’s up to you
Post # 5
@Pink Asawa: As another person that does NOT want kids at my wedding I say wait until you know who is coming from his side before talking to her.
Post # 6
I am not having any children at my wedding other then my 2 nephews (if my fiance had any nieces or nephews they would also be there). There would be way too many children to invite if we allowed it and we were trying to keep cost down. i think most people are ok with it and most wedding i’ve been too lately have been child-free.
If you feel these are people you really want to come you could talk to them but then understand if you allow some children to come who are not in the wedding you might want to consider inviting them all.
Post # 7
We were having a child free wedding, but since two of our guests have infants (both under 1 yr) and are traveling, we decided to make the exception for them. We did email the rest of our guests that have children to explain the situation to them.
Post # 8
@Pink Asawa: I wouldn’t bring it up. You’re not obligated to invite every child. We’re having a mostly child free wedding, but have made exceptions for various circumstances – if other people whose kids weren’t invited don’t like it, I pretty much couldn’t care less. We’re having our wedding in a hotel, there’s absolutely NO reason why children cannot stay in their rooms upstairs with babysitters we are willing to provide.
Honestly, why anyone would want to take a child to a wedding is beyond me!
Post # 9
So there are potentially already going to be 6 children there anyway, between the flower girls and out-of-country family, and if she brought her kids that would bump it up to 8, and there really are no other children among the other invitees (i.e. no other people with kids that you would need to worry about upsetting)?
I would just let her bring them, in that case. You gain very little by excluding these two kids, and if it matters to you to have your friend’s mom there, then that’s what it’s potentially costing you.