Post # 1
I am having a really hard time trying to cut down my guest list. I have a very large family with most of my adult cousins having multiple children. There are several of the children that I am close to and several that I rarely see. The space that we are having our wedding would be really tight if we invite all of the children, along with putting us over our budget. I need advise on how to cut the guest list without hurting feelings.
Post # 2
We aren’t inviting children for this reason. I think most people are fairly understanding of a child-free wedding (in fact, I know some of our friends and family members with kids would prefer to just enjoy the night instead of babysitting), just make sure that you make it clear so parents can make accomodations.
Post # 3
We only invited the children of our siblings (my niece and nephew who were flower girl and ring bearer, and DH’s sister’s infant). You have to draw the line somewhere!
Post # 4
We are having our son, the children of our siblings and a couple other kids who have been invited due to extenuating circumstances (infants, friend of our son whose mother is also my friend and the like). I think if you specify who can come, then people have the information they need to make plans accordingly. I’ve got an uncle who has a bunch of kids (it’s actually only four but that was still more than we had space for) so we made it clear to him that the invite was for him and his wife only. They were fine with it.
Post # 5
We are also only inviting our nieces and nephews. Just them alone (not even counting those over 10) raise our guest count up by 10. Children of cousins and extended family will not be invited simply because there is just too many of them. I wanted a child free wedding but Fiance shot that idea down almost immediately (he is very close with his nieces and nephews).
Post # 6
I was unapologetically ruthless. I told my sister she could only bring her eldest daughter who’s 10 (she also has a 3 yr old) and told my brother not to bring his baby (who’s just turned 2). I allowed my cousin to bring her 8 yr old since it’d be nice for my niece to have one other kid there her age and because her mom was flying in from out of state. Outside of that, I didn’t allow any other kids. None of our friends’ kids, not of our little cousins, not even our pastor who is our officiant was allowed to bring his kids who we see every Sunday! Almost everyone understood except my brother who has sole custody of my niece…he kept harping on why he didn’t get a “plus one” to bring my 2 yr old niece…umm…a baby is NOT a plus one!!!
Post # 7
Draw the line consistently if you don’t want hurt feelings. That doesn’t have to mean no kids at all. For example, you can invite all children of first cousins or none or children of siblings only. I’d do the latter, personally.
Post # 8
I completely agree with PPs – it’s fine to draw the line at which children are invited, but this needs to be done consistently. So, either invite all the children of first cousins or none of the children of first cousins.
We’re only having children who are immediate family at our wedding – my sister (13), my brothers (8 and 5) and my FI’s nephews (3 and 1). We have cousins under the age of 18 and some of our friends have children; all of these guests know that their kids aren’t invited and assumed that my siblings/FI’s nephews would be.
Post # 9
We had a child-free wedding, but this was an easy decision because none of our siblings or wedding party members have children. A few of our cousins and friends do have children, but they either came without them or chose not to come, which was completely fine. Just be aware that some people may make a big deal out of not being able to bring their children because they apparently can’t bear to ever be without them.
Post # 10
My cousin recently had a wedding and put on the invitation “adult reception only” I actually thought it was a nice way of saying “no kids”. No one that had kids seemed to mind either. The only children that were there was the flower girls.
I wasn’t originally going to invite kids to my wedding except for my nieces, but I was talked into it by family and my fiance. Since our wedding is at a Zoo they thought inviting children would be appropriate. Now I greatly regret allowing all my cousins to bring their kids because there are a lot of them. We have kids meals being made so that cut the cost a little. But just finding space has also been difficult, most of them are old enough to have their own seat. We definitely didn’t have it in our budget for everyones kids.
Post # 11
I am doing no children. there are teens who can babysit in the family and I needed to cut my list to, even without kids our guest list is bigger than id like and its as low as we can go
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2017 - Mississauga Convention Centre
I couldn’t imagine our wedding day without our nieces and nephews, we have 25 in total. We are having 84/children at our wedding. We feel that it’s a blessing, and truly a family affair
Post # 13
Same issue here. I ended up inviting nieces and nephews, no children of first cousins.
Post # 14
Ours will be 100% child-free
Post # 15
No kids at ours. If we invited kids our guest list would have increased by 50%.