(Closed) Children! To invite or not to invite! And where do you draw the line?!?!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Rdickson90:  I guess it really is going to be personal preference but I will be having kids at my wedding and I plan on setting up a table with games, coloring and other kid related activities. A lot of my family members have kids and I am very close with them all so I can’t even fathom telling them they couldn’t come. 

Post # 4
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

we had a no kids wedding and there were several people who did not attend due to not having a babysitter or not wanting to get one, so if you absolutely want those friends there at your wedding, you’re better off allowing their children attend as well.  it looks like you’re already going to have 6 children there, so i don’t really see the difference in inviting the rest anyway.  if one is going to act up during the ceremony, it could just as easily be one of the 6 you’re already including

Post # 6
Member
152 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

We decided to have no kids at our wedding, and everyone has already been great with it… with the exception of one couple.  Of course, given the fact that this couple told me that their child was hitting another child and breaking stuff at the last wedding she went to, I’m very HAPPY that I’m not inviting children.

 

Honestly though, do what you want.  Everyone who I’ve spoken with (again, with the exception of the parents of the “beat & break” child) has said that they’re actually looking forward to an adult night without kids.  😀

Post # 7
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

it’s totally up to you!  we decided not to have children for a few reasons, mainly because we don’t have any nieces/nephews/young family members as well as the fact that our venue space is very small.   

Post # 8
Member
985 posts
Busy bee

I think offering some kind of minding service would be great, but maybe check if guests would actually use it before hand? Just so you’re not paying for anything that won’t be used. I think it would be a really considerate thing but also allow parents to let loose a little. But like pp said, I think you should be consistent with your allowances for kids – if you let some attend, all should be able to. 

Post # 9
Member
253 posts
Helper bee

if i was in your position i would just invite ringbearers, flower girls, and children who are family and or relatives as well as god children. other then that i wouldent let anyone else bring kids.

Post # 10
Member
19 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My wedding is july 27th 2013 and i was planning on not inviting children. im younger (21) and alot of my friends are under 25…so there will be drinking and dancing. I have been to several weddings where children are crying and yelling during the ceremony and running around screaming, hitting eachother etc. at the reception. I informed those that have children that i am planning on having an adult only wedding that way everyone can enjoy their time as adults and the children will not be bored or tired etc. (my wedding starts at 5:10pm and dinner will not be until 6:30pm). some of my family members and future family members have been throwing a fit about it and saying they will not be attending my wedding…which is fine by me im not offended, but they are also harrassing my parents about it….so i am caving in and allowing children.

I have recently been thinking about hiring a sitter so people can bring their kids and then drop them off when the kids are getting tired.

Post # 11
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I will not be having children at my wedding, my fiance and BOTH our families agree (thankfully).

For us, the cost is just too much. Our space is approx $120 a head (pre tax), regardless of age or what they eat. The children in question would be counted as a “head” and I can’t justify $120+ for chicken fingers. Our reception will go late into the evening as well, which means screaming/crying after 9:30pm – how do I know this will happen? The kids were at another family wedding and the bride was beside herself because the parents ignored their 3 screaming, crying, BITING (yes, a guest was BITTEN!). 

For me, it’s a no… 

Post # 12
Member
136 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

We see it as there more the merrier, then again we don’t have to pay out of the wazzoo for childrens meals, and it’s a very child friendly space.

Post # 13
Member
2965 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am allowing the children of immediate family (our nieces and nephews) and children of the Bridal Party members (because if they can’t find a babysitter they can’t be in the wedding) and children from Out of Town to come to the wedding. I know that just sounded like a lot of kids but I believe that’s less than 15. However, I am not allowing children of locals (extended family–cousins–and friends) to come to the wedding. They can find a babysitter and we won’t miss them if they can’t.

Post # 14
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am the oldest in my family (oldest child, oldest granddaughter, oldest cousin) so I have first cousins that are as young as 3. My Fiance family is huge and he has many older first cousins that have children and that would be just way too many people if we had all of his cousins with their children. So we decided to cut it off at first cousins.

Hope everything works out for you!

Post # 15
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Where you draw the line is totally up to you, but you need to keep the rules consistant. You can’t make exceptions.

Our rule is: First cousins only. I am the oldest of all the grandkids and have many younger cousins (we’re talking 1st and 2nd grade here). Friends’ kids aren’t invited.

 

Post # 16
Member
1846 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Personally I set an age limit. No kids under the age of 5. That way we have 7 kids (including our own) attending who are between the ages of 7-12, and we have 8 kids not invited between the ages of 1-2. This hasn’t been the most popular decision, but it’s one that Fiance and I are happy with.

Imo, Theres a big difference between having a table of well behaved 7-12 year olds who aren’t going to be screaming or crying or carrying on during the ceremony, then having the 8 1-2 year olds and trying to keep them quiet and entertained so they aren’t bored to tears. 

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