(Closed) Children! To invite or not to invite! And where do you draw the line?!?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 32
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I am not having any kids at our wedding. Including my cousins new 6 month old baby. Too bad.

Post # 33
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Our situation is different, but since Fiance and I have three year olds (two of them) that are absolutely allowed, the more kids the merrier for our event. That said, we are doing it at an awesome church that doesn’t charge per head and the kids area is huge with lots of toys and coloring tables, and best yet, it’s in the basement with a couple of babysitters, where the grownups will be on the first floor. We love kids though (obviously lol) and love the kids of our friends and families. We’re having a much more laid back casual kind of party though, more of a celebration of family.

Post # 34
Member
9430 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

we are not having any kids.  my FI’s 2 neices will be flower girls and walking down the ailse, but not invited to the reception. 

we have invited my cousin to bring his children so we can see them at the rehearsal dinner and sunday brunch.  my mom offered to get him a babysitter if he brings the kids.

 

 

Post # 35
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We’re having a smallish, very family-oriented wedding so we are having the children close to us attend, such as FI’s 9 nieces & nephews and my two cousins who are like my nieces. All of the parents of these 11 kids are in our wedding so it’s pretty much a Bridal Party kids only rule. 

That being said, since we have a pretty small guest list (only 120 – which is small for our gigantic families) if anyone said they couldn’t come because they couldn’t find a babysitter I would just let their kids come. We have a great venue who is pro-rating the meals for kids so we don’t have to pay as much for them as we do for adults.

Do what’s best you and your Fiance and the type of wedding you’ve envisioned.

Post # 36
Member
688 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Mine was, either no kids at all, or kids allowed no matter what age. My bridesmaid just had a baby a few months before our wedding and they (obviously) had to bring him. Her boyrfriend had the guy during the ceremony, baby uttered a single peep, and boyfriend was out of there. He knew he didn’t want heads turning to stare at him. 

I knew I was scared of kids “ruining” my wedding or causing a rucus. But it never happened in the end. I had a various fun things for the kids to do at their table (as I had arranged seating), I put girl/boy colouring books and candy at their spots neatly packaged to look fun. That entertained them during speechs. There was a kids menu for them to choose from and they love to dance. Since it was also at a hotel, the parents could usher the kids to the room and turn the TV on if needed. 

Post # 37
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

i posted the same thing yesterday.

 

We werent inviting children and then my cousis started complaining saying they wouldnt be able to find a sitter for the night. I am now looking into the option of hiring the creche but at THEIR expense.

As far as im concerned i do not feel it is my responsibility to fund their childcare. they have more than enough time to source their own and personally if they choose not to come because of the no kids thing then that is fine too. Its our choice whether we want a child free wedding or not.

 

I however would either invite children or not invite them and not invite certain children and not others as i can see that causing more drama than its worth.

 

I did put a message on my wedding website with a little white lie to say the reason we are not inviting children is because the venue does not allow children during the ceremony or wedding breakfast (one of the other venues we looked at actually said this) and also the venue is not particularly suitable for children because it has open lakes, rivers and streams and they would need constant supervision.

 

I say, do what ever you want to do your guests have more than enough time to find alternative childcare for your wedding.

Post # 38
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2013

View original reply
@ChocolateLime:  I agree. I know some people will think it’s tacky, but it’s very true. If someone received an invitation to a gala that didn’t allow children, they would be in the same boat. It isn’t the host’s responsibility to provide childcare. You’re doing the parents a favor by having it available. I would make them pay for it. My parents renewed their vows last year and provided childcare at the reception venue. My parents discussed the fees per child with the sitters, but parents were responsible for paying. Some people still decided to bring their children and not use the childcare (which was very disruptive to the type of reception they had). I love children, but every event isn’t for children. I strongly dislike when people throw fits because their children aren’t invited. If you are so hell bent on you and your child being in the same place at all times, you and your child should stay home.

Post # 39
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

We’re not having any children under 18 at all. Neither of us wanted kids there and neither do our parents. We aren’t inviting a *ton* of people with young kids, they shouldn’t have issues finding babysitters or people to stay with them. We’re not having any flower girls or ring bearers either. We both work with kids, so I think we want our special day to be free of work stuff.

Post # 40
Member
4521 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

FH has 3 young children on his side of the family and I’m the baby of mine, so we will probably just keep it family only. I can’t imagine his god daughter not being an integral part of the day, let alone not being there. I am kind of relieved that we won’t have tons of kids there, though, as we plan to keep the wedding as small as we can and our first choice of venue does not have a kids’ menu (or kids’ prices)

Post # 41
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We have no children in the immediate family so drew the line at no children.  None. And no, we didn’t bother with crèches or anything, no childcare – after all, they’re not our children! We didn’t make excuses – it’s our choice to have more of the people we know and love there, rather than young children (the only children we would have invited are 4 or under) – our venue has a strict limit on numbers and children count toward the total. 

 

Post # 42
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We’re inviting kids to our wedding. To us, weddings are about families and we have some very special little people in our lives. 

Post # 43
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2015

The venue I’m using has an extra room. So we’re hiring a babysitter and any children that come are going to be in there during the ceremony and reception. I”m putting on the invite that it’s an adult only affair but if you can’t find a babysitter there will be one avalible at the site.

I just really don’t want to hear crying at my wedding.

Post # 44
Member
3 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We decided to have a cut off at the reception. After 7pm the kiddies have to go but Im afraid of losing the crowd since majority of them have kids. We are a young couple (he is 25 and im 22)  there will be alcohol and we feel that should be a kid free situation so we can enjoy our night. Not sure what to do on thatUndecided

The topic ‘Children! To invite or not to invite! And where do you draw the line?!?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors