(Closed) Children/guests dates at Ceremony/Receptions

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We’re doing adults only, 18 and up are invited.  We wouldn’t have many kids there if we invited them, but Fiance hates his younger cousins and didn’t want them there, so we made a blanket rule of nobody under 18.  As of now we’re planning on giving everybody a plus one, but that could change down the road!

Post # 4
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Between my friends and cousins, having kids would have more than quadrupled my head count.  It just wasn’t in the budget, nor was there space at my venue.  We only had our nieces and nephews, all of whom were in the wedding party and had a blast.

Most of our guests were married.  Everyone else I invited to bring a guest, although almost none of them did.

Post # 6
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m having a hard time with this one.

Just because of circumstances there are going to be at least 12 kids at my wedding (nieces/nephews/kids of out of town guests that can’t leave them behind/kids I’ve worked with who I’m friends with their parents as well) so I’d feel weird saying “no kids” then having guests arrive and see at least a dozen kids milling about.

What I really want to say is no babies or small children that are hard to manage. I’m fine with a dozen 8 year olds being there, I’d just rather not have the ceremony interrupted by crying infants. Still haven’t figured out how to approach this.

Post # 7
Member
62 posts
Worker bee

I wanted children at the wedding but my Fiance did not. I planned on having them in a different room, with a child care provider and games and food esp. for them. I think that if you have children at a wedding it isn’t fair to expect their parents to have a good time while chasing after their children. Also the children won’t enjoy being treated as an adult (same table as adults, same room, same entertainment). You have to cater your event to your audience and if you want the kids and their parents to enjoy then you should design separate areas and entertainment for them. I believe that weddings and funerals are a part of life and excluding kids doesn’t teach them much about the cycle of life. I’m not heartbroken about the lack of kids because my budget is small. I’m inviting teenagers because they’re young adults and will enjoy the same things that the older adults will. People who don’t invite children shouldn’t feel bad. Some weddings are adult only events and there’s nothing wrong with that. Kids don’t care if you invite them or not. They won’t even remember! As for inviting dates, I say no unless you’re pushing for a big wedding.  If you want a large wedding then you’ll probably invite tons of ppl that you don’t know (parents friends, parents co-workers, co-workers dates, estranged family, etc.) That’s how weddings get out of control-you invite ppl you don’t know or haven spoken to in years (which basically means you don’t know them).

Post # 8
Member
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I believe in no children at a wedding. We are only having 6 children which are my FSIL’s kids between the ages 2-8. I am not looking forward to it since some of them have behavioral issues. His sister’s cannot afford babysitters, and my Fiance really wants them there. I love them , but I just don’t think a wedding is a place for children.

Post # 9
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I allowed it happily.  We ended up having a total of 8 kids ranging in age from 2 to 10.  I loved it and wouldn’t have changed anything for the world!  🙂  I was pretty easy….  I gave everyone a +1.

Post # 10
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We are only having one child at my ceremony (my nephew who will be 6 by then) and NONE at the reception. Dont get me wrong i love kids but the younger ones can be disruptive and  i have a huge family with lots of children so it would be too expensive. Plus we want more of an adult vibe. Once we really take a look at our guest list we will make a cutoff but im thinking 14 and up. Im not inviting dates because its too expensive plus we want to actually know everyone at our wedding.

Post # 11
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Quite honestly, I think it’s a little rude to not invite kids to the wedding, and I’ve always been a little surprised at how many brides on here are banning them.  My younger cousins (14 of them ranging from ages 2-18) are like my little siblings.  Yes, some of them have behavior issues and yes, I don’t always get along with them, but they are my family and I want them to feel included!  I always loved going to weddings as a child and I know my cousins would be very sorry to miss out! Plus it has to be difficult for parents to find a sitter, especially if they are travelling long-distance.  I know many adults that can be just as disruptive as any child when they have had too much champagne.

Post # 12
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I went out of my way to purposely invite all the children 🙂 Although we don’t have any of our own, children have been a huge part of our lives and I couldn’t imagine getting married without them there, from my brothers two daughters to the 11 year old set of twins I’ve been nannying for since they were 6 months! If all goes well, we’ll be having a photobooth to help amuse them and I’ll make sure there’s a basket of toys for playing with as well. Depending on how many come, we may also set up a play structure so they have somewhere to get out all their energy. We also invited everyone with a plus one. 

Post # 13
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I should add that our wedding is on a family property so there’s LOTS of space for the kids to run without disturbing the ceremony. 

Post # 14
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

we had only children of close family.  so hubby’s brother who’s 12, younger cousins (6 of them ranging from 1 year old to 17), my two nieces who are 1 and 3 and thats about it. 

as for guests bringing dates, we only allowed it if they were married, engaged or common law (living together). 

Post # 15
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I have two children of my own from a previous relationship, so I know how hard it is to find babysitting. We are kid friendly couple obviously and I’m even making a special table for the kids coming to our wedding. I should add we are doing buffet style, so additional cost for food is not an issue. I think its really a personal decision with alot a factors involved.   

Post # 16
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Mrs.Pollietobe: Same here. We have three kids (one his, one mine, one ours) and we are having a kid-friendly wedding. Our count is about 16 kids and 80 adults. We plan on having a kid craft table with a girl (16) coming to “babysit” and lead some activities. We haven’t sorted our catering but they still charge for children, over 5 at least. So, we are not sure how to do that part yet. If we did ourselves (how!??), we could definitely save a few bucks on all the kids food.

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