(Closed) Chinese Tea Ceremony – Did you kneel?

posted 6 years ago in East Asian
Post # 3
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

yes, I am planning to kneel. I think if we’re going to incorporate the tradition, why not do it right?!

Post # 4
Member
254 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

every chinese wedding I’ve been to they’ve kneeled.

Actually if you don’t, the older generation may be offended.

I have a silly story to tell, my younger brother got married before me. So as the older sister, even though i was still single, I was part of the contingent that was served tea.

Everyone got to sit down and get tea served to them. I had prepared a really ‘fat’ red packet. Since I was the youngest, I was the last to be served.

then my aunt said..don’t kneel infront of her, she’s young. I actually felt very insulted at that.

I’m going to have a short tea ceremony the day before the wedding and I will be kneeling.

 

Post # 6
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think you should do what seems best for you. We are having a chinese tea ceremony for our wedding and will be kneeling too but I won’t be wearing a kwa because I think it seems silly to rent an outfit I’ll only be wearing for 10 minutes. 

Your groom’s parents might think it’s a nice tradition. I’m planning on telling my FI’s mother at that point how happy I am to have her as my new mother in law and to join her family. We might not get another intimate moment on my wedding day. 

Post # 7
Member
1285 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you need to discuss with your parents and grandparents. You don’t want to offend them. I am not Chinese, but I married a Chinese man and I let this aspect of the wedding be dictated by his family, it just means more to them then it does to us.

Post # 8
Member
1916 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We kneeled for ours.  My mom just put two pillows on the floor.

 

Post # 9
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

We did not kneel. My family actually suggested that we didn’t.

 

Post # 10
Member
10 posts
Newbee

@saltandpepper: each family’s different, but my aunt got married in 1996 (in her mid 20s, mothers little sister) and she did not kneel. My cousin married in 2011 (in his 20s, paternal side) did not kneel either. My family is possibly less traditional but I believe that you can just bow if your family is okay with that. 

Post # 11
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I knelt.  But I made sure I got cushions so that our knees wouldn’t hurt.  My in laws told us that we had to kneel for our parents, but we could stand for everyone else (siblings, aunts and uncles).  

Post # 12
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I guess it depends on what’s the accepted norm in your family. We didn’t kneel, no one in our family ever did. But at some of my friends’ ceremonies, they did.

Post # 13
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

apparently you only kneel tho those who are older.

Post # 14
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Since the person you are serving tea to is sitting down, I think kneeling would be the proper thing to do..just make sure there are cushions so you’re not kneeling on the floor..it also makes it easier to get up. But like everyone said, it really depends on the family. This is def something to be discussed prior to the wedding. And also, I little pet peeve of mine, when you offer the tea to your parents/grandparents or whomever..make sure you hold the teacup/saucer with both hands. It’s an etiquette thing =)

Post # 15
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

We have to kneel. My mom will make damn sure if it. She’s got fancy pillow cases ready and everything. T_T

Post # 16
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Knelt only for my parents and future in-laws. Stayed on my feet for aunts and uncles.

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