Chistmas miss communication

posted 1 year ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
10078 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

It’s not taking place on actual Christmas so I don’t see a problem on if they wanted to do something special with just their blood family unit. Your partner can turn them down if they are offended partners aren’t invited.

ETA: You aren’t family. Your acceptance is purely because you’re married to someone in the family. If you and your partner broke up you would no longer be included in anything and likely all contact would be cut. This is true of anyone, myself included. Saying someone is “part of the family” that isn’t actual family is really a crock when it comes down to it. 

Post # 3
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would be hurt if you were the only SO left out, but it seems like they want to do a siblings bonding experience and I would be ok with that. The sibling who said you needed to leave them alone was out of line and beyond rude though, and I hope your fiance stood up for you. 

Post # 4
Member
2823 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

jmai :  So the escape room hasn’t happened yet, I assume? I can understand being hurt if they did this ON Christmas and you were left out but I personally don’t see anything wrong with the parents and kids doing something solo. But that’s just me, obviously you’re hurt and I think his siblings comment to was pretty insensitive and rude.

Do you normally get along with them? How does your fiance feel about this?

Post # 5
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Wow, that’ pretty effing rude.  I’d think twice about gift giving with these people in the future.  They’re showing what they really think of you.  Hopefully your Fiance stood up for you since you never said.

Post # 7
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

jmai :  now not being included with this makes me feel asthough i should have done something for them.  huh wuuuut?  They’re being pretty rude to you and you want to give them gifts????

Post # 9
Member
3076 posts
Sugar bee

jmai :  You shouldnt feel like you need to do anything for xmas for them since they clearly did not do anything for you. Not that christmas is about reciprocation, but just pointing out that you should not feel this way.

I think it is fine to do something with just them, however the way it all came about wasnt very nice. It should have been explained that it was a sibling bonding thing and there was no need to be so rude about you leaving them alone.

Are many of the other siblings married?

I dont think its a big deal, but i would feel a little weird about how rude they were about it. Plan a nice day for yourself while they are out. Hit the mall, have lunch with a friend, get a massage or your nails done!

Post # 10
Hostess
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

You’re not family, you’re not even married yet. As pp’s have said you will never truly be family, if you get divorced or breakup contact is cut.

let them do their own thing together, it’s not like it’s Christmas or something.

Post # 11
Member
1754 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Gotta agree with pp. At least some of those siblings are going out of their way to make you feel unwelcome and not like family at Christmas so I’m confused as to why you’d want to subject yourself to more rejection.

What did your Fiance decide?  Are you two actually engaged by the way??? Just curious is all.

Post # 12
Member
10078 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You can not appreciate my comment but it’s true. They aren’t your family and your inclusion is purely based on you being in a relationship with your partner. If that relationship ended then so would your inclusion.

I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. I don’t say that to be mean, but  it’s clear you and the rest of the family have different view points which is what’s causing this. You consider them your family, they don’t consider you as an equal family member no matter how fond of you they are. 

Post # 14
Member
727 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

As an escape room fan, can I also point out most escape rooms have strict person limits? (Usually 6, sometimes 8) if there’s 6 siblings that may be all that fit into the room. I’ve never seen an escape room for 12 (assuming 6 siblings and 6 partners) as they’re usually in pretty small spaces.

Can you feel bummed to be missing out? Sure. Should you take it personally? No. It sounds like they just want an hour of sibling time and the light-hearted competition that follows with it.

Post # 15
Member
1164 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

jmai :  it’s obviously a thing that the siblings can work on together. Calm down, doesn’t sound like a personal slight. And the other person is right, you’re limited to how many you can bring into an Escape Room.

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