Post # 1
“Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest.” -Mark Twain
My mother, the mother of the bride, is making me choose between my dog’s life or my wedding dress.. and possibly my wedding. My 1.5 year old pup is seriously ill. We took him to the vet today (a horrible incompetent vet that gave us no answers) and I asked my mom to pay his bill with what she owes me from my tax return (long story). She did, but there is a problem…. My dog is just as sick as he was before taking him to the first vet, yet she refuses to help me take him to another vet. Tell me how I’m supposed to walk down the aisle on the happiest day of my life in a dress that condemned my dog to death? There is no way in heck I would consider it after hearing their budget on a stupid cake. So I straight up told my mother that I will be selling my wedding dress to pay for his vet bill. She of course hung up on me, but not before calling me stupid for not “waiting it out” and saying that there are plenty more dogs out there. After stewing for a bit I decided that if she does refuse to help me tomorrow, I will call the whole wedding off. Months of planning, countless choices, and tons of money GONE. To me, it is completely worth it knowing that I will be able to save my puppy. The dress is going up on craigslist and I will also be posting it here in the classifieds. How could you possibly say the dress or the wedding is worth losing your best friend? I won’t be losing my dog. My mother, if willing to help, will be completely pardoned, if not, I’m dissowning her forever for being such a heartless witch. How could you condemn this innocent cuddle bug to death because of a stupid wedding?
“Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.”- Peter Marshall
Fenrir (Pronounced Fen-Rear) the day we got him. The day I first met my very best friend.
Post # 3
I’m so sorry. I can’t believe someone would say “there are more dogs out there.” I hope your pup gets better soon!
I’m confused, though. Did your mom pay for your wedding dress? Who’s paying for the wedding? And does your mom still owe you money?
Post # 4
YAY for choosing life!!!! I have a love/hate relationship with my dog, because honestly he is a butthead who makes my life hell sometimes but I would never pick having a wedding over saving his life. I really hope you can figure things out to where you can have your pooch and your dream wedding, good luck and Fenrir is in my prayers for a speedy recovery.
Post # 4
I’m confused. Am I reading it right that you want your mother to pay for your dog’s vet bills and if she continues to refuse you will cancel the wedding (to spite/punish her?) and sell your dress (to pay for the vet?) If the dog needs treatment now and the dress will presumably take a while to sell how will you pay now?
I wish your mother was more willing to help you out (if she can afford to do so) but I just think you need to think calmly and rationally about what to do here. If you need money now for the bill then selling the dress doesn’t seem the best way of doing it as that could take ages? Is there any other way of getting cash together for vet bills? I hope your dog gets better.
Post # 6
That’s so sad your poor fur baby is sick! I would be doing the exact same thing. My friends life is worth more to me than a big dress and wedding. If it meant I could afford to save him, I would sell everything.
Maybe that’s extreme to some but no dog will be just like another. Sorry your mum is being so heartless… I mean, who’s wedding is it anyway? Fingers crossed for your pup.
Post # 7
I too am a little confused by your post however I hope your dog can get the adequate care it needs, and quickly. If you are having difficulties paying I would suggest looking into care credit. It is a line of credit based on your credit score for veterinary expenses. Best of luck to you and your pup!
Post # 8
@Treejewel19: +1 on Care Credit
I’m so sorry your furbaby is so sick and am praying for you.
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2014 - Baby #2 due Sep 2017
What did the vet charge for if s/he didn’t do anything?
Post # 10
@LuckyInMyLife: I’m confused on the details but I hope your pup gets better and quick!
Post # 11
I don’t know what your dog has to do with your wedding OR your mother! I’m so confused. It’s your pet, get it the help it needs, ASAP. “1.5 year old pup”, so it’s not like it’s even an old family pet you expect mom to foot the bill for. You’re old enough to get married you’re old enough to care for your less than 2 year old dog! If you can’t care for it, humanely put it down or better yet find a group/family willing to take it in and love it and care for it. Totallly irrelvant of a wedding or a mother unless you’re underage and don’t work. Um even then… babysitting (I started at 11), yard work, part time job… now would be the time to start… I’m assuming you are old enough to work if you’re getting married.
@LuckyInMyLife: “Always do right – this will gratify some and astonish the rest.” -Mark Twain and “Let us not be content to wait and see what will happen, but give us the determination to make the right things happen.”- Peter Marshall
Excellent quotes. Please do right by your pup and have the determination to make the right things happen, and I’m not even a dog person! But they are still cute and loving parts of families (just not my thing, but I don’t want them to suffer!). And I love my cat and have spent hundreds on him. Got him with a missing eyeball and an open infected socket. Vet said no big deal, here’s antibiotics, open sockets are usually sewn up just for looks :/. Unfortunately he kept getting infections so we had it sewn up (DH was 2nd human by then lol), turns out kitty had a bit of eyeball hanging around in the socket (ew). Been good since tho! I can’t say I’d spend 10k on a hip replacement, but a few hundred for a super loving part of the family even if it makes the budget tight was fine by me (and had nothing to do with my wedding or either parent!).
I’m not trying to be mean, and I’m sorry if this sounds blunt, I’m just flabergasted here! It’s your dog, he depends on you for care. Please care for him!
Post # 12
I, too, am a little confused by your post. I’m assuming your mom is paying for your wedding, and has also paid for your wedding dress?
Whatever the case, I applaud you for taking all possible measures to get your puppy the medical care he needs. If it meant selling my wedding dress – hell, if it meant selling my kidney – I would do it to save my furbaby. You have plenty of time to buy another wedding dress (it doesn’t sound like you’re terribly attached to it anyway) and things have a way of working themselves out. I’m sure there are other aspects of wedding planning you can re-jig to find some money for your puppy too. Good luck and sending your doggy lots of good vibes.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia
Aw, as a mommy with a fur-child, I can understand your pain. This is probably too late to ask, but would you by chance have pet-insurance?
Agreed with previous posters that a dress (that’s been possibly altered) might take a while to sell.
If I were you, I would have flat out refused to pay the first vet as the dog hasn’t been properly treated. (It almost sounds like this first vet is trying his/her best not to tell you that the dog needs to be put down) Be firm with any vet that you aren’t putting him down.
I am sure if you reached out, there might be local charities that help pets out. Set up a paypal account. Good luck!
Post # 14
I am really confused as well as to why you can’t afford to give your puppy vet care on your own. I have two cats and one of them got diagnosed with colitis, I spent more than my wedding dress cost in the span of three months getting proper vet care for him. I would spend any amount of money on his healthcare in a heartbeat, both of my cats are my children (if you can’t tell by my username). I’m a broke graduate student and sometimes I am not sure if I’ll have money for groceries but I rather skimp on myself than let my cats get sick.
As MrsTangerine said, if you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough to be financially responsible for your puppy. If you’re not able to afford his care, please turn him into the humane society or a good family that can take care of him.
Post # 15
Well ladies. For all of you who think I am irrisponsible for not being able to afford vet care for my dog, I assure you if the vet bill was under a grand I would have gladly paid it myself, however, I only make that a month. I have bills to pay and other mouths to feed, besides that he was extremely healthy beforehand. Never a problem. I paid for my dress, and over half the wedding. Excuse me if I didn’t forsee this very painful and costly illness. Do I have the money for my dog? Yes. But I can’t lose my house over it. I will never be posting here again as everyone jumps to the most god aweful conclusion. Did it ever occur to you that I GAVE my tax return to my parents because they needed it at the time for something similar? No. For all of you who wrote nice, sensible, and overall supportive comments THANK YOU. But for those of you like crazycatlady13- you need to learn to not judge others before you know them. I won’t be posting here again because since my first post all I have gotten is hate with a little hint of “helping”. I now don’t have a wedding and don’t want one. I don’t need one to be happy, and unlike you I don’t need to put others down when they are in a really bad spot.
Post # 16
Does your fiancé not figure into this choice at all? Many of us likely consider our SO our best friend. Don’t you think he would rather work out a way for you to pay for the vet AND get married? Wouldn’t it be hurtful to him that this drama means more than your decision to marry him?
If money is really so tight maybe going through with a scaled down version is the best idea anyway?