(Closed) Choice between life and wedding dress. Literally! (long, cute puppy pic)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 18
259 posts
Helper bee

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@LuckyInMyLife:  I’m really sorry about the comments you’ve gotten. It’s nobody’s business to demand more information from you, this is something nobody should be prying about but seems to be more and more common on the Bee.


I’m proud of you that you’re able to dedicate so much to your puppy. You’re really being responsible and definitely doing the right thing. Please carry on steadfast in your decision to save your baby – I admire you a lot for it.


Post # 19
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@LuckyInMyLife:  Woahh! 

Calm down… I understand that you must be very stressed with everything that’s happened lately but you are freaking out at people who are mostly trying to help. They aren’t prying to be nosey they want to help you work out a way to save your puppy and still have the wedding dress and wedding. 

your story isn’t actually that clear and it came across like you expected your mum should just pay your vet bills. Regardless of context you weren’t clear. Now that you are it’s a slightly different story. Whether your parents ‘owe’ you money or not emotionally blackmailing them won’t achieve anything. If you are considering selling your dress and not getting married to save your puppy then perhaps you could have told her that you love your dog and he’s more important than a party or a dress, and that you would really like some help with the vet bills. If not you could always have a civil ceremony and a reception later when you can afford it and your puppy is better. 

Have you considered charities? In the UK the RSPCA and PDSA will help out under certaiN circumstances. 

Your mums comment about it only being a dog was obviously hurtful and its sad when people don’t understand the attachment and love we have for our furbabies, but threatening to call off the weddiwine ill only make her think you’re more irrational. A calm discussion might work better. 

Above all I’m so sorry your puppy is ill and the treatment is so expensive. My thoughts are with you. X

Post # 20
1132 posts
Bumble bee

[Comment moderated for name calling]

Post # 22
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

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@sharontobemarried:  Yeah seriously…. 

To OP, if that is not the case, my advice: First off, this is a horrible, stressful situation, but you need to calm down, for your puppy’s sake. Most of the bees I saw asking questions seemed genuinely confused, as was I, by your original post. A lot of it was not clear.

Second of all, your dress isn’t going to sell straight away, is it? I cannot help but feel like maybe that will not be the quickest or best way to get money for your pup, along with throwing away a differnet portion of happiness (which, though you quite vehemently stated you don’t need a wedding for your happiness, I would assume in reality you actually do want one or you wouldn’t have been planning it in the first place, and I think that comment was just lashing out from frustration). 

Have you talked to your fi about this? I mean, he is 50% of the wedding decision thing, and also he might have ideas for the puppy. Someone mentioned a charity, and that is great. Also, posting a fundraising thing like on kickstarter or similar project sites and then spreading it on facebook or even here seems like a much faster means. I am sure people would sympathize and be willing to donate little bits.

Finally, you mom is being kind of cruel, and I am sorry to hear it. It is sad that you donated to them in an emergency, but in yours, she just said “there are other dogs.” 

I hope this works out for you, but you can’t just lash out at people trying to get clarifying questions so they can better offer advice. Will be praying for your puppy.

Post # 23
8281 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

I am very sorry to hear this. What a horrible situation to be in where you can’t pay to help your fur-baby. I would feel exactly the same. I am sorry PP’s have upset you, I think people were trying to get more information on the situation in order to maybe come up with a better solution. I am sure no one meant to offend you or make you feel like you are a bad pet owner. I hope that a solution comes along, and a solution which means you can still have your wedding etc.

Post # 24
4494 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

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@LuckyInMyLife:  I’m so sorry about some of the responses you have gotten. There is a very big difference between being able to afford routine vet care and being able to afford a sudden illness. I would sell my wedding dress and cancel my entire wedding to save one of my dogs. My uncle just had a baby that was severly premature. He has insurance, but will still have to pay over $20,000 and its going to be a real struggle for him. Does this mean that he was not responsible enough to have a baby? I’m sorry but anyone who thinks that is ridiculous.


Does any vet around your area allow you to set up a type of payment plan so you can pay the bill off gradually? I would also look into care credit, as a PP stated. I think it’ll take a while to sell a wedding dress, but I’d still try. Anything else you can sell? Seriously little things on eBay can really add up. Or even pawning something. I guess it depends on how desperate you are, but I would sell/pawn my ering in a heartbeat to save one of my furbabies. Good luck to you!


Post # 25
865 posts
Busy bee

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@LuckyInMyLife:  I think you need to relax a bit. No one is saying you are irresponsible, people are looking for more information because they are confused on the details and want to understand before giving advice. From the way you reacted so harshly its clear you are not the easiest person to be in a disagreement with.

Post # 26
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m not totally sure I followed through all the details correctly, but from what I read you were trying to choose between the money for a wedding dress and paying for vet bills? If I read wrong, the rest of my post won’t make sense 🙂

aww I’m so sorry. For me there wouldn’t be any consideration, pets are children and they come first, so I totally admire you for sharing my feelings on that! When it comes to euthanization, I see it as a gift to spare an animal from pain and suffering, BUT it’s the last resort and I only go there if I know that my animal will have very little/no quality of life left. 

For the wedding dress dilemma…I would rather wear a short white cocktail dress, or borrow a dress, or buy a used dress than make a tough decision like that! You could even have your puppy walk you down the aisle!!!

Good luck to you and your super cute puppy, I hope the right answer comes to you and you can find some peace. 




Post # 27
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

alright so your mom will not pay for your dogs vet bills, so you are going to disown her? uhm, you are an adult, am i correct? Your mom is not responsible for YOUR dogs vet bills.

to think you would cut your mom out of your life, because you cannot afford to pay your own bills is ridiculous!

also, selling your dress and calling off your wedding to hurt your moms feelings? that is immature.you are cutting off the nose to spite the face.


cant your set up a payment plan at the vet? talk to your fiance? maybe he should help instead of mom.

Post # 28
2084 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

Sounds like cutting back on the wedding expenses is a good idea overall. I hope the next vet can help and cutting back will give you room to breath financially.

Post # 29
20 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

To OP: good luck with your dog. Not all us vets are terrible, so I hope you find one whose advice you can trust soon. Good luck with Fenrir (love the name). If you need a shoulder to cry on, please do turn to us, not all the people at WB are cruel and mean. I think a few people misunderstood what you were saying. Don’t judge them harshly. As you are fond of quotes (YAY!) may I add one? A point of view is just that, the view from a point. – no freaking clue.

To all those people who say selling her wedding dress will come too little too late to pay for her dog’s bills: She can find a vet that does repayments, or alternatively one that allows care credit (most emergency clinics from what I read on VIN). Care credit is like taking out a personal loan. They destroy you with interest, but for those people who need a quick loan to get them through with medical expenses for their pets, this is a way. It lets you cover expenses until say, your wedding dress sells.


To all those people who think that the OP is money hungry borrowing from her mother: If you mentioned this before the first reply, i can forgive you – I also misinterpreted what she read. However the thing you may not understand is that VET BILLS ARE EXPENSIVE. Yes, i’m a vet and I am saying that. No, it’s not as expensive as it should be, if we were to charge what the human GP’s charge, then we would make the wage that they do, but we don’t, because we want to make it “affordable”. But that’s my rant for later. Surely everyone has been in a place in their life (college/university is mine, though we’re buying a house soon so goodbye money) where they have spent more than they could for a SHORT period, and thought they could rely on the people in their lives if needed. This is where OP is. Seriously people, look at the economy now, and how many people are living week to week because they were made redundant.


To all those people who think the Fiance won’t approve: My Fiance has been told MULTIPLE times that if anything happens to my cat, the wedding budget will be spent in an instant. I would rather have a living cat, lose all my deposits and a courthouse wedding than a dead cat. Hell, I would probably bankrupt myself before I let my cat suffer. And no, I am not kidding. If my Fiance was not someone who understood that (and knew how to rein me in if necessary) then he would not be my Fiance. Charlie (my cat) is my furry child, and he knows that.


But I didn’t want to make this about me.

Regardless, OP, I hope all the best for you and Fenrir. If you need someone to talk to, who understands what you’re going through (I’ve seen it damn too many times) please PM me. I’m not always around, but glad to talk when I am. Please give all my best to Fenrir, and know that one more person is praying for him.


Post # 30
9679 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@LuckyInMyLife:  I am not sure I completely understand the situation, but from what I gathered, I would do exactly the same thing. I do not think a wedding should get in the way of more important prorities in life (i.e. paying bills, buying a house, saving money, setting yourself up for the future, and of course your family, which your adorable furbaby is a part of). If I could not afford a wedding due to more important issues that arose, I would also skip the wedding.

How does your Fiance feel about the whole thing? There are still lots of options, i.e. a civil ceremony, a weddingmoon, being common law depending on where you live, etc. You have found your life partner and that is the important part. I applaud you for not getting so caught up in a wedding that you lose sight of what is really important in life. I am glad that you are doing whatever it takes to save your dog. Some people can’t understand the bond, but I do and I would do the very same thing.

Post # 31
9679 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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@Kerauno: +1. Not everyone can understand furbaby love. If you don’t, that doesn’t give you the right to judge the OP so harshly. She’s doing what she thinks is best and came here seeking support, not insults. Just because someone doesn’t do what you would do doesn’t make them wrong.   

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