(Closed) Choice between spouse or family

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 47
Member
6117 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Mrslovebug:  OK, given the info, you have some serious issues in your first family.  Please try to get these books at the library.  I hope you carve out some time to really educate yourself on the dynamics of dysfunctional families, your roles, what you can do, etc.  These books really helped me a LOT!

 

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You 

(FOG – Fear, Obligation, Guilt – how to see it and what to do about it)

 

Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

(how to not rely on your parents and keep them at a distance or cut them out completely)

 

Adult Children of Alcoholics

(you may not know it, but being an adult child of an alcoholic has certain traits)

 

Adult Children Secrets of Dysfunctional Families: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families

(things that all dysfunctional families share and how to navigate it)

 

An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s ‘Normal’

(you might be surprised at what things are so very unnormal!)

 

Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage

(for your H)

Post # 48
Member
2268 posts
Buzzing bee

If my family we’re ‘ruining my marriage’ I would have to assume that they care less about my happiness, than they do about themselves and while it would be a hard decision to make, I would choose my husband on the basis that 1. He is my priority and 2. My family are the ones causing the problem, so they’re the ones who should lose me.

Post # 49
Member
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Mrslovebug:  In your situation, cut out your family as it sounds like they are completely to blame. In any other situation, it depends who is at fault.

Post # 50
Member
2569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

My husband is my first priority.

Post # 51
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would choose my husband. Hands down.

Post # 52
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Since you’ve cut them off it’s time to block their emails and phone calls/texts.  Even change your phone number if you must. 

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