Post # 1
So my fiance and I just got engaged about 2 weeks ago (!) — very exciting. I’m the type of person who likes to plan everything out super early, and am already thinking about who I want to include in my bridal party. I know for sure I will have my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor and his sister as a bridesmaid, but am unsure about who else (if anyone) to add. I’m the type of person who doesn’t have a million friends; I mostly just keep in contact with my mom, sister, fiance and his family.
I have a friend Sam that I’ve been close with since we were 16 years old (now 24), but have lost touch over the past 2 years. We only talk here and there now, but she was extremely excited to hear about the engagement. She would be a good person to have as a bridesmaid and can see her being helpful in the planning process.
I also have another friend Kelly that I was very close with for about 2-3 years when we went to college together, but have also lost touch with her over the past few years. We’ve gotten together a couple times in the past year, but she just recently had a baby and is very busy / hard to keep up with. She also has financial difficulties with the new baby, so I don’t know that she would be able to afford a bridesmaid dress and etc. I’m unsure if I should ask her to be a bridesmaid, but would also feel bad not asking her if I ask Sam, even though I’ve known Sam for a lot longer.
Soo basically I’m unsure if I should just keep it simple with the two sisters, or add on one or both of my friends. We are also on somewhat of a tight budget (18-20k) and I know having more bridesmaids is more expensive. And I’ve also considered that coordinating more people also gets messy and complicated. Anyone have any advice? I’d like to have friends in addition to my sister and future in-law but just don’t know what’s “right” in this case!
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course
Stick with what you have. Simple and easy. I have five bridesmaids but if I could go back I’d only have two of my sisters. Not a major regret but still. Congrats! 😄
Post # 3
I would probably ask Sam but not kelly, given kelly’s busy-ness and money problems. I think it would be nice to have a long time friend as one. But if you decide just to have the two I don’t think it’s a problem!
Post # 4
Only you can decide what’s best for you. But my advice would be keep your bridal party small and keep it to the people you are really close to. Also, with your limited budget, having a small party is smarter. The cons would be; less help with planning, and less people at your bachelorette party. Not sure how you are going to do your ceremony, but maybe Sam and Kelly can be included in some way in that.
Post # 5
I would keep it simple at 2. If you re not in regular contact with the other two, that is not going to change because you are getting married.
Post # 6
I think just the 2 you are currently close with.
Post # 8
What are your friends like?
Wedding Bee is full of threads of brides who asked old friends – who they’d drifted away from but felt obliged to ask – to be bridesmaids, and it’s a disaster. Because all the differences which led to drifting apart in the first place resurface during the wedding planning. That friend who she drifted away from because she’s flakey, is still flakey as a bridesmaid. That friend who she drifted away from because she’s a stubborn opinionated b*tch, turns out to be a stubborn opinionated bridesmaid. So beware.
On the other hand, in real life, I’ve never seen bridesmaid problems. All my friends are easygoing and have been delightful bridesmaids, in all the weddings I’ve been close to.
So, you know your friends. Though I’m a fan of small bridal parties, and only had 2 bridesmaids (including MOH) myself, you should be fine so long as your friends are good friends. If, on the other hand, you drifted away from them because they’re difficult, then absolutely do not ask them.
Post # 9
I’d probably stick with your sister and his sister. I would invite both Sam and Kelly to the wedding, but I think I would draw the line at asking them to be bridesmaids – bridesmaids are supposed to be your nearest and dearest so, whilst I’m sure these girls are lovely, you’ve already said that you just aren’t that close anymore.
Post # 10
I’d stick with the two. If you’ve drifted from your other friends I wouldn’t include them.
Post # 11
Thanks for your advice everyone ! 🙂 Will likely just ask the sisters instead of forcing it.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club
If you’ve lost touch, I would say no. I think it makes sense to keep it small with the two sisters. It also makes things a lot less complicated.