(Closed) Choosing a Date

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d be a little disappointed (not upset though) as I’d want to fully enjoy planning both weddings! I say plan it for 2013!

(we planned my sister’s big wedding in 3 months, we are having an 8 month engagement)

Post # 4
1709 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

I would be disappointed if my sister planned her wedding at around the same time as mine, especially if it was well-known when we were looking to get married.  Maybe a few months before or after is okay though.  It sounds like they haven’t actually set a date yet, though, so if you guys are ready to put down money for your date, I don’t think I would have the right to be upset (if I were your sister). I would have a talk with her and see how she feels about it.

Post # 6
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. Fiance and I are getting married 3 weeks after his first cousin.

Just talk to your sister about it. Think about your potential Out of Town guests that will be on both lists. Depending on that number, it will help dictate how far apart it should be.

Post # 7
3716 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I would ask your sister. Give her the layout– say you don’t want to hurt her feelings, but you and BF are looking to get engaged in the next 3 months and are looking to have a wedding in late 2013 (if Christmas is an option) or  spring-summer 2014. Say that you are worried about it being too close to her and want her opinion and her input.

If she is the type that really cares about getting married first, she will and will have time to have time to plan a great wedding.

Post # 8
7637 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Planning a wedding in 8-11 months is no problem. The only real issue is some venues and photographers book out a long time in advance. All the actual planning can be comfortably done in that time. So I would prefer late 2013.

I don’t think your sister can block out a season. There is an issue with travelling relatives, so there should be at least a couple of months between weddings. But “Fall” is anywhere from September to December, so to give a couple of months around all that she’s blocking out July 2014 to about Feb 2015, which isn’t fair. If your sister wants to reserve a date it should at least have a month nominated, if not an actual date. Otherwise I say whoever books a date first, gets it.

Post # 9
3356 posts
Sugar bee

I think none of this even matters until one of you actually firms up plans.

If she is just talking about this date, then I would ask her to let you know by X date if that is when they are going to have the wedding, and if not you are going to go ahead and book that time of year.

In terms of relatives traveling, I wouldn’t stress about it.  People may not be able to come to both, but while disappointing isn’t really the end of the world. 

Post # 11
4799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

View original reply
@andielovesj:  I agree that it doesn’t really matter until the plans are more firm. If your sister has been engaged for three years and hasn’t set a date…do you really think they’re going to get married in the fall, or will it be further delayed? I’d wait until you’re actually engaged and then see if the two of them have actually firmed up a date or not, and go from there.

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