Post # 1
So I am trying to choose between two bridesmaids which one is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
One pick (lets call her Betsy) is my former roommate we used to be really close. When I transferred schools (about 4 hours away) and moved in with my now fiance, she wanted to move in with us. I told her no and since then we just haven’t been the same. We are still somewhat close but nowhere as close as we used to be. She has just assumed that she is going to be my Maid/Matron of Honor because we have known each other so long. When we visit each other, we get along really well, but as soon as I go home or she goes home, we lose contact for a month or so at a time.
The other pick (lets call her Lola) is my sorority sister (my Big to be exact) we just met Fall 2008 but I consider her one of my best and most honest and loyal friends now. I haven’t know her as long as the other friend but I would say I am now closer to her.
Lola lives in the same town as me and would be able to help me where Betsy wouldn’t. However I really dont want to hurt or offend Betsy by “demoting” her to just a regular bridesmaid. So I am in a pickle and would like to let the girls know soon so as not to lead either girl on or cause any more drama than there has to be..any advice you can give me??
Post # 3
Well, I think whether a someone would be able to help with the wedding is not a major deciding factor for picking a MOH/BM. I think Maid/Matron of Honor should be someone who you really want to be right next to you during the ceremony. My Maid/Matron of Honor is out of state and she can’t help me much but she’s still the person who I’d want as my Maid/Matron of Honor. It’s hard to just pick one girl based on your description. Go with your gut feelings. It doesn’t sound like you consider Betsy as your close friends now, so if you were to make me pick one, I’d probably pick Lola. Also, when is the wedding? Don’t choose BMs yet if your wedding is still far away, as relationships changes as time goes by.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
Why not do co- maids of honor? You can explain to Betsy that you’re having 2 Maid/Matron of Honor b/c you need someone local to help you with wedding tasks.
Post # 5
I agree with mouse… why not have two MOHs? Although, that can also cause turmoil amongst the two if they don’t know each other and aren’t the type to get along with anyone…
And who says only your Maid/Matron of Honor can help you on the tasks you want to accomplish? You Maid/Matron of Honor should be the person you most want standing beside you, possibly signing as witness to your marriage.
Post # 6
I would choose Lola. I had the same thing and I picked the friend that I was friends with longer – Im not upset I did and Im happy she was my Maid/Matron of Honor but I wish I wouldve picked my newer friend because we are closer, see each other almost every day and I am her Maid/Matron of Honor. Dont pick out of obligation, you will regret it. Otherwise if you cant pick I would make both of them MOH’s. Is one married? You could have a Maid and Matron of Honor.