(Closed) Choosing Attendants

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

To be honest, I’ve got my sister and SIL (brother’s wife) as bridesmaids. You can probably get away without having your Future Sister-In-Law in your wedding party – it’s a nice gesture, but it certainly isn’t compulsory.

I would strongly recommend having your sister in your bridal party unless you’re only having one or two attendants. If you’re having 4-6 attendants, then that’s basically saying that you prefer all those people over your sister, which will almost definitely cause drama (even if that’s not your intention). I think the only way you can not include your sister in the wedding party is if you two already have a poor relationship, or if she hates your fiance.

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Again, I don’t think anyone should be obligated to include their future-in-laws in the wedding party. If it’s important to your fiance to have her there, then he can have her as a groomswoman, I really believe you shouldn’t have to drop a friend or family member to accommodate his family.

But I still strongly believe you should include your sister, unless you have very good reason not to. Your friends may be very close to you now, but your sister is your sister for life.

Post # 6
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would include your sister. I personally would also have the Future Sister-In-Law somewhere, on your side or his. Its not worth hurting relationships that you will have forever. We are having 3 siblings and 3 friends in our wedding party. Sides don’t have to be even if you really want everyone

Post # 7
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I am having my brother as a bridesman and my fiance is having his sister as a groomswoman. We could have switched, but we like it the way it is, lol. So I’d say if your fiance wants your sister in the wedding, he can have her as a groomswoman. If you want your sister in, you can have her in… if you don’t, that’s up to you since you’re the one who has to deal with her either way.

Post # 8
Member
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@2013wedding:  I didn’t leave out my sister, but I’ve heard of people who did, and regretted it later on.

I think you should include your sister unless there is a very good reason not to (e.g. you have a very bad relationship). Your sister will always be in your life. There’s a good chance that some of those 4-6 friends will not.

It’s not so important to include Future Sister-In-Law, because you almost certainly haven’t known her as long as your friends. But if she’s the only sibling (male or female) who won’t be in the wedding party, it’s probably nice to include her. Or you can give her a reading, which is a nice role for sister of the groom (I did it at my brother’s wedding). It gives her an important role, but doesn’t require much time or expense.

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