- 7 years ago
I have been a long time member, but after my last serious relationship ended over 6 months ago, I had to get off WeddingBee for a while. I decided to start fresh and create a new account to symbolize the end of my last relationship and the beginning of something new.
So my delima: I’ve spent the better part of the last 6 months getting over my ex, and feel that I’m finally ready to start looking for something special. I’m 28 years old I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I’m looking for in a long-term relationship. About 6 weeks ago, I decided it would be fun to sign up for Match.com to see what was out there. I went out with several guys, and quickly it became apparant that 2 of them were pretty great. For the past 4 weeks, I’ve been on numerous dates with both of these guys, and have started to develop real feelings for both. Since I wasn’t exclusive with either guy, I didn’t feel that it was wrong to casually date them both while figuring out which guy I would like to be with.
This past weekend, both guys expressed interest in making things exclusive with me, and I explained to both that I wanted to take my time before committing to a relationship so that I was sure I was making the right decision. Both guys have an enormous amount of qualities I’m looking for: intelligence, good looks, good senses of humor, interesting personalities. Best of all, they both make me feel really wonderful and special.
But how do I decide which one will be better for me?
Guy A is probably a better choice on paper. He has a very stable career, a good group of friends, and his personality is really similar to my own. He’s met several of my friends, and they think he’s great. He and I can talk for hours and I’m very comfortable around him. He’s a few years older than me and is interested in settling down in the near future. I think he’d make a great long-term partner, and i’m sure he’s the type of guy my parents would love (which is really important to me). He’s been a little slow to open up though, and I’m hoping that once he does, our emotional connection can grow. While he’s a really good looking guy, I’m just not getting butterflys though.
Guy B has completely captivated me. I feel the most insane chemistry with him, and it’s like fireworks every time we kiss. While I know physical attraction is importat, he and I seem to be connecting on an emotional level also. He’s already openend up to me a lot about his past and what he’s looking for in a relationship, and it seems to align with what I’m looking for. He’s a lot more emotional than Guy A, and I could see him being a little needy down the line. He’s already expressed jealousy about me dating other guys, even after we’d only been out a few times. I have a fear that our relationship could be very passionate, but also very rocky at times. We share some of the same interests, but not as many as Guy A and I do, and my friends will be less likely to get along great with Guy B than Guy A. Guy B has a stable job, but it’s not in an industry that is all that impressive, and I know he currently doesn’t have the earning power of Guy A. (FYI-I’m not basing this decision on which guy is going to be a stronger breadwinner).
All in all, I know I could be happy with either one, and I love the time I spend with them both. Am I crazy for feeling so torn? I really don’t want to lead either of them on more than I already have, so I feel like I owe it to them to figure it out sooner than later.
Has anyone had to choose between two great guys? How did you make your decision? What advice to you have?
Thanks for bearing with this long post!!