(Closed) Choosing bridesmaids

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1251 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I can’t comment as to what the backlash would be. However, you can just say you are keeping your bridal party small, which is understandable. If she wants more information, you can tell her that she lives 4 hours away and it might be difficult for her to fulfill any Bridesmaid or Best Man duties, so you would rather have her as a guest so she can just enjoy the party.

Post # 3
7679 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

racetrackbride:  If she’s like a sister, I would try to include her. Certainly including 3 out of 4 sisters would cause major hurt feelings.

I regard an engagement party as optional for someone living 4 hours away, whether or not she has to work. So don’t worry about that.

Perhaps have a talk to her, and ask if she can 100% guarantee to be at your house at 10 am on the morning of the wedding, or whatever time you need your bridesmaids there.

The other thing is, I suggest you don’t even pick your bridesmaids (except maybe your sister) until less than 12 months before the wedding.

Post # 4
221 posts
Helper bee

racetrackbride:  I would wait until a year from the wedding before deciding/asking people to be in the wedding. Things change. 

Post # 5
2698 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

racetrackbride:  If you’re that close, I would include her. Sometimes it’s easier to keep the peace.

I would talk to her before you tell anyone, tell you you want her to be invloved but realize it would be difficult because of the distance and the time commitment involved in being in a wedding. Ask her if she would be more comofrtable playing another important role… MC, or reader or something like that. She might be just as happy to do that, if she wants to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, then she’ll know your expectations of your ladies. Good luck!

Yak:  +1. Completely agree. I had a long engagement too, and did the same. I waited a year to pick… honestly the people I picked didn’t change, but I’m happy I waited because you never know.

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