Post # 1
I am having a super hard time choosing my bridesmaids! I have my maid of honor chosen. I have also asked my two future sister-in-laws and two other close college friends. Right now I am at five, but I worry that this mix of people will not be fun as not everyone knows everyone and I am not close at all with my future sisters-in-law.
I am also struggling with adding on 7 more bridesmaids..which I understand is crazy. I have a group of close friends from high school and they are some of my favorite people. We still keep in touch pretty frequently. They would be a blast to have at all the pre-wedding festivities and I’d love to have them as bridesmaids. Unfortunately it is the sort of situation where I cannot choose any of these girls unless I choose all 7. Of course I think having 12 bridesmaids total is way too many and I am okay with not having these 7 girls be bridesmaids, but my fear is that sticking with the 5 I have now will not be a fun mix of people at the bridal shower, bachelorette party, and pre-ceremony things.
I am just not sure what to do since I have never gone through this before so is it actually that big of a deal if your bridal party isn’t a very fun mix of girls?
Post # 2
There’s no reason you can’t include the rest of your friends in all of your pre-wedding festivities, even if they aren’t bridesmaids. Our wedding is in 2 months and honestly, I wish I hadn’t chosen any bridesmaids. Now that I’m at this point I’m thinking my closest friends/family would have been there for the pre-ceremony things anyway. And wow is it a pain to get any of them to get a dress.
Post # 3
If you read through the archives here, you’ll see that issues with bridesmaids is one of the top 3 issues here (if not #1!) Wrangling a group of 12 bridesmaids seems like absolute insanity to me, unless they are the world’s most easygoing, helpful, cooperative crowd.
Just because they’re not in your bridal party also doesn’t mean they can’t be part of your events! I opted for only 3 bridesmaids, my two best friends and my teenage sister. My bachelorette was a blast with 16 friends in attendance (my sister didn’t even go because she was too young), and my shower was also very well attended and a lot of fun!
Post # 4
I was in a bridal party with a mix of girls and we had a blast! If they all love you, then they’ll all get along just fine. And there’s no reason you can’t invite those 7 girls to all of the pre-wedding stuff! It’s fun when you have a big group of people, so invite them to the baqchelorette party and the bridal shower too! Just because they aren’t in the bridal party, doesn’t automatically exclude them from pre-wedding festivities.
Post # 5
I would just make sure your Maid/Matron of Honor knows to invite the group of HS friends to the pre-wedding activities. Then you can still have all the fun memories with them, without needing to wrangle 12 bridesmaids. Your wedding day will be hectic enough without trying to herd people. I’m in much the same boat as you and I’ve figured that people will show up if you ask them to, and if they don’t… well, that’s their choice.
Post # 7
So if you don’t include these people then, what, you think you can’t invite them to your bach party? Honestly, you are being ridiculous. Keep your BMs at 5, invite the rest as guests and make sure to include them on the guest lists for your bach and shower (if you are thrown one).
Also, remember, that your bridal party is not about who would make a fun mix at your bach party. It is about who is your nearest and dearest.
Post # 8
I couldn’t narrow it all down, so I went with zero bridal party. Everyone is helpful and supportive despite lacking the official duties.
Post # 9
Your wedding party is supposed to consist of the people who are closest to you, not everyone you happen to know. It also shouldn’t be based on how “fun” people would be at your shower or bachelorette. Wouldn’t you invite your friends to those events anyway?
Personally, I’d live the in-laws out of it entirely (unless you’ve already asked). From what I can see on the Bee, asking people out of a sense of obligation is a recipe for disaster. The smaller your party, the easier they will be to wrangle as well. If you plan on asking them all to come when you pick your dress, for example, three opinions will be much better than 12! I think you should stick with your Maid/Matron of Honor and your two close friends. Keep it simple, keep it small, keep it stress-free!
Post # 10
5 is a good amount. Parties at 6 and 7+ is when I start rolling my eyes. TBH your definition of whats going to make a good bridal party, “a fun mix of girls”, would not be the defining attributes of how I would pick a bridal party. Choose your nearest and dearest to you right now. Who is going to support you the day of. All of your friends will be invited to the parties and showers and they will show up and there will be a fun mix! But think about the day of and how you want that to go.
Post # 11
Like PP said, you can definitely include your other friends in your bachelorette and have them get ready with you the morning of your wedding if you want! I had a similar struggle, with lots of close friends that were hard to decide between and ended up choosing the 5 I couldn’t imagine getting married without. The others will be invited to my bachelorette and have said that they’re really excited! I’m sure that at least one will be upset that she’s not a Bridesmaid or Best Man (she’s asked me several times if I’m having BMs and was upset when one of our mutual friends decided not to have any), but hopefully your friends will understand. 12 is a lotttt of people.