Post # 1
My maid of honour is an easy pick – done. I’d like to leave it at that, but others are pressuring me to have a few more people because they think it’s sad to just have one attendant at a large-ish wedding.
But I don’t have anyone else that i feel close “enough” with to want to have them as bridesmaids.
I have lots of cousins who I absolutely love, but ultimately these aren’t people who I spend a lot of time with outside of (fairly frequent) family events. They are also a good bit younger than me (all college age) and therefore wouldn’t be that much help to my Maid/Matron of Honor for planning stuff.
I, of course, also have girlfriends, but even those that I’m closest to I tend to only get together with every few months and I don’t have a strong sense that I’ll be connected to these women for the rest of my life (although I’d like to be, I think that life will take us down different paths).
What do you think? Have others felt this way? Am I obsessing over nothing? Should I stick to just one attendant? Should I stop over analyzing it and just ask my cousins or friends?
Stupid bride brain. Why do these things seem so simple when they are someone elses question but so difficult when they are your own?
Post # 3
I think you’re ok to just have one attendant. It’s risky to pick other people just to have ‘filler’ since the more people in your wedding party, the more drama (and more $$- gotta get gifts for everyone!)
Save yourself the hassle and stick with your gut. I’m sure your other friends & cousins will offer to help out without needing to go out and buy a dress & stand up there with you.
Post # 4
I voted just stick with the Maid/Matron of Honor I think it will be lovely with her closest friend and really show off your friendship 🙂
Post # 5
It’s okay to just have one attendant. Don’t let others pressure you into getting more. Remember you have to deal with that headache, not others.
Post # 6
I don’t see my best friends that often–my Maid/Matron of Honor and two bridesmaids–though only one of them lives here (and she has a kid and a full time job). One of the BMs is FI’s little sister, who I do see a lot, but she’s only 16. The final Bridesmaid or Best Man is my cousin (my age) who has a full time job, school, a kid, AND lives in another state. We communicate frequently, but I never see her. I’ve seen her only a few times in the past 10 years.
Pick the ladies (or gents?) closest to you now, ones who don’t cause drama and will be dependable.
Post # 7
@vorpalette: “Pick the ladies (or gents?) closest to you now, ones who don’t cause drama and will be dependable.”
That’s good advice.
Post # 8
I think you should just stick with your Maid/Matron of Honor. Your BMs should be your nearest and dearest, so if you aren’t that close to your GFs, then I wouldn’t ask them to be BMs. If you are second guessing your decision, just read through some posts on the Bridesmaid board about brides who are drifting apart from their BMs.
And besides, you can always add people if you start to become super close with a current friend or make a new one, but it’s very hard (and rude) to take people out of your wedding party.
Post # 9
@cbgg: People get so caught up with numbers. Honestly you will regret not having just your close people in your party. It makes it more special to have only close people up there. That is why i am having no friends-just my siblings on my side and his siblings on his side. I dont want people to see the wedding pitures and be like who is that? who cares what everyone else says. you should try to fill spots up and waste money. just pick your Maid/Matron of Honor, tell everyone what you are doing and dont make it up for discussion. cut them off when they start. say “you know, i only feel comfortable with having my closest person up there with me and i am happy with it.”