Post # 1
I have a dilemma….
I am good friends with my younger brother’s girlfriend, and I would like her to be one of my bridesmaids. However, although I am friendly with my older brother’s wife, we’re not nearly as close. I am trying to keep my wedding party small. Do you think it would be okay for me to ask my bro’s GF to be a bridesmaid but not ask my other bro’s wife?
Post # 3
@Jef: It’s your wedding and whoever you want up there with you is who you should pick!
Welcome to the bee!
Post # 4
@Jef: I think it’s totally fine to have your brother’s girlfriend if she’s a close friend. Now if your bridal party was 10 ladies deep and if your relationship with your brother’s girlfriend wasn’t a legitimate friendship on its own I’d say maybe your brother’s wife would feel slighted. But it sounds like your brother’s girlfriend would be your friend even if she wasn’t with your brother, in which case your sister in law should understand why you’d want her to stand up with you.
Post # 5
i personally wouldn’t do it just because if she and your brother happen to break up, it could have a negative effect on your wedding. my brother’s girlfriend of 6 years was supposed to do a few things for me on my wedding day and they broke up 3 months before, so i had to come up with a plan b.
Post # 6
@Jef: To me, it is WAY too early to start picking out bridesmaids, if the wedding date you’ve listed is accurate….by then everybody might be with a different SO/spouse!
Post # 7
@primrosehedge: I agree with this!
If your wedding is sooner, I think I would probably feel left out if I were you SIL.
Post # 8
@Jef: yes! I would maybe have your sil do a reading or something so she still feels special
Post # 9
The wedding date listed is not the real one. We haven’t set a date yet, but Wedding Bee wanted a fake date when I registered. Thanks everyone for your advice!
Post # 10
I would ask both. It will be a good way to get closer with your sister in law. I think it would be horrible if you asked the girlfriend and not your sister in law. The other way around would be more understandable…
Post # 11
@Jef: Its your wedding, you can do what you want. Perhaps if you’re not having her in the wedding party, you can think of other ways to include her in the pre-wedding festivities and planning.
Post # 12
i see most people picked yes but if these girls where dating/married to my BILs. she would be offended. i wasnt even close with my BILs wife and the family pretty much told me i had to ask her because she wouldve been super offended. im sure it saved a lot of grief but i still wonder why since she didnt help and i didnt even see her much before or the day of the wedding. I know someone said you should pick who ever you want up there. but when i did that so many people felt left out. i was really surprized. i ended up with five instead of three. and it all worked out and everyone was happy:) one big happy family. isnt that whats its really about. two families becoming one.
Post # 13
Yes, choose who you are closer to. I would give your FI a heads up on this though, just in case your FSIL complains to him. Which she shouldn’t… I am not close to my FSIL, she is nice but we aren’t really “friends.” She also loves a couple states over so I don’t really picture her as part of my future wedding party.
Post # 14
@Jef: I prob wouldnt have either….if youre not close to your brothers wife, then you dont have to have her. But I would also be weary about having your brothers girlfriend, unless you are really really sure they are going to last. It would suck to have her in your pictures if something happened between the two of them.
If you’re confident in that though, then its your day so do whatever you want.
Post # 15
@Jef: It’s your wedding, your day. Choose the girls who you feel comfortable and close with, and don’t worry about it.
Post # 16
I asked my FI brother’s wife to be a bridesmaid, but not my FI’s sisters, because I’m closer to her than his sisters.