Post # 1
Ok, so I’m in a bind as to who to pick for my bridal party. I have a close group of friends but unfortunately can only pick 1 (maybe 2) to be in the party. I already have 3 and we are trying to keep it small. How do I go about this without offending the others? I know there will be hurt feelings, jealousy and possible backlash. Should I just leave it at 3 (comprised of family members and friends that are not part of this group) or add the fourth in? There is one girl who I’m closest with and would really like to have her there but not if its going to cause so much drama!
Post # 3
I say have the people who are going to help you on your wedding day the most if something goes wrong. If you are trying to avoid drama and keep it small, then don’t include the extra girl. If you really want her, include her, and see if there are other jobs you can give the other girls, readers, ushers, passing out programs, guest book, etc. The other girls should really know that it is YOUR wedding and should just be happy for you, not catty because they aren’t bridesmaids. If you think it’s going to cause that much drama to invite the 4th girl, it may not be worth the headache. You can still have that girl do something special.
ETA: Welcome to WeddingBee and Congratulations!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
Is your date for 2012? To be honest, I would wait to ask your bridal party, or at least from this group of friends until you’re much closer, like even just a year out. Things can change in the next few years that you can’t even forsee and you may regret your early decision. If you still want to include these friends, or even just this girl, I am sure she would be happy going to dress appointments or caterers before she is (or isn’t) formally asked.
Post # 5
@ ERIQUA—-Yes, my date is for 2012…although we haven’t officially set one yet, we were thinking summer 2012. I completely agree with you, its true that things can change. This group itself has been so rocky since we all graduated from college and went into the working world..its like we all pick and choose a new best friend amongst the group as the wind turns!!!
Has anyone else had this problem in picking bridesmaids when u have a large group of female friends?? If so how did you resolve it (picking criteria) and what was your relationships like afterwads??
Post # 7
I would wait to make any decisions until you have a date and are a year out from the wedding. A lot can happen in two years, and this may not even be an issue then. Maybe they move out of state or are otherwise unable to help with the wedding. There are a lot of posts about “changing” or “firing” BMs from girls who chose their party too early. While I know you’re excited about the engagement, you should wait to choose your party.
Post # 8
I agree that you should wait to ask.
And just a hunch – if you think choosing 1 of the three will cause drama…it probably will. A year from now this problem may work itself out.
Post # 9
You have plenty of time. You don;t have to pick so early.
what is bump?