(Closed) Choosing maid of honor (sister in law vs. old friend)

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

Could you have two MOHs?

 

Going off the info in the post, I would pick your old friend. If your sister in law gets upset, tell her that you value her friendship equally, and wanted to respect the fact that she had a lot of responsibilities with the children. My only red flag would be the ‘intense emotional drama’ you talked about. Weddings tend to bring out high emotions in people, so if youre worried about conflict, you might want to think about your choice more.

Post # 3
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I’m planning to have two MOHs because I have two best friends who I have been friends with since elementary school. If you absolutely had to pick one, I would pick your friend over your SIL since you have been closer to her for longer and you weren’t your SIL’s Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Post # 4
Member
30398 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
Holly_in_Texas:  You don’t have to be torn. One is single, one is married. You could have a maid and a matron of honor.

Post # 5
Member
564 posts
Busy bee

You can have a maid and matron. But if you want only one, if there is not a whole lot of difference in closeness (like you’re pretty equally close to them but in different ways) I would go with the friend, UNLESS you think she may be drama. Because there’s a deep rooted 12 year history there, and I think overall it sounds like you would rather have her and like it would be more fun with her and y’all are probably more relatable on that kind of subject. (Huge run-on sorry lol). But if she’s going to possibly cause drama, that kind of sucks all the fun out of it, and I’d go with sis-in-law.

Post # 6
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I would go with both or the old friend.  Since you have been friends for so long I imagine the two of you have been talking about your weddings together since you were young and it would be so special for both of you to share the experience of being bride and maid of honor together.

Post # 8
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Rocky Mountains-May 2017

View original reply
Holly_in_Texas:  Friend. I’m having my Future Sister-In-Law as a bridesmaid, but having my brother as my Man of Honor. I would never feel obligated to have my SO’s sis as a Maid/Matron of Honor. I’ll be having my brother, best friend of nearly 20 years, and then her. In that order

Post # 9
Member
1413 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

View original reply
Holly_in_Texas:  I think you should consider having a matron of honor and a maid of honor. I’m probably having five girls total, and one is my sister (maid of honor) and the other is my best friend (matron). My sister is only 20 and didn’t want any of the responsibilities of organizing anything, although she wanted to help and be included! And my best friend is organized and super dependable and wanted to be in charge of stuff. So they’re working as a team!

Post # 10
Member
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I’d recommend the friend. She sounds fun and available to be part of the wedding festivities. Besides, at your SIL wedding you weren’t her Maid/Matron of Honor. Plus she sounds like she’s got her hands full being a mother to almost 4 children. Even if my future SIL and I were as close as you are with yours, I just wouldn’t expect to be asked, I’d figure she has her own friends to ask.

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