(Closed) Choosing maids??

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2076 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - British Columbia

@thunderberry:  Congratulations on your engagement!

I’m in a bit of a similar situation where I’m in Canada and my best friend from my home-country, whom I’ve known for over a decade, lives in Australia. With no hesitation, she is the closest thing I have as a sister, so I have already appointed her as my Maid/Matron of Honor long before I got engaged. We’re always able to pick up where we last left off — we actually write really long emails! We’re always there for each other, no matter the distance and time zone. Thank goodness for Skype. (She was there with me through Skype when I found the dress!)

I’m not particularly close with anyone here, despite having lived in Canada for almost 12 years. (Long story short, most of my friends are guys) So, I asked my Fiance how many groomsmen he could muster. He said, one. (His best friend) Made my day and life easier!

As for a bachelorette party, I don’t mind planning my own. I’m most likely going to throw an all-age friendly party anyway.. at a roller disco, so that my FSIL’s kids can come too and they wouldn’t have to find baby sitters.

Post # 4
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@thunderberry:  Personally, I would go with history. New friendships change over time and you may not even be friends with some of these new girls by the time your wedding rolls around! My maids will be my sister, my closest cousin, my best friend of 18 years and my old mission teammate, who I’ve known for 12 years. The last one will have to fly in, but I will still ask because she’s been a confidant even though we only see each other once evey 2-3 years. 

Post # 5
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would say do it based on people you know will be there for you! The last thing you’ll want is an unenthusiastic or unresponsive Bridesmaid or Best Man, whether she’s an old friend or a close one. 

Post # 6
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@thunderberry:  My situation is somewhat similar to yours.  I moved away from my hometown when I went to college.  I moved back to the area for a couple of years (working/grad school), and then took a job in another state.  I moved again as soon as I found a job in Omaha (where my fiance [then boyfriend] lived).

I quite literally have close friends scattered all over the country.  I have a few really close girlfriends here in Omaha, but since my fiance and I really wanted to have a small wedding party, I opted to only include my oldest and best friends.  My very best friend and I have been really close for about 17 or 18 years.  He and I have been through a lot together over the years and there was never a doubt in my mind that he would stand next to me as my “man of honor.”  My other best friend and I have been really close for closer to 22 years.  (Wow, I’m old!  Haha.)  I was also a bridesmaid in her wedding a few years ago.  My third bridesmaid will be my younger cousin.  She and I have always been really close, and have considered one another to be like sisters.  I will also be a bridesmaid in her wedding this September.

Everyone in my wedding party lives very far away from me (the closest is about 800 miles away). I don’t get to see them that often (usually once or twice a year), but we talk often.  Every time I spend time with any of them, it’s just like old times.  We’ve all grown and changed, but we’ve all managed to remain close.  I have never once questioned my choice to include these 3 people in my bridal party.  My fiance really likes all of them as well (and they really like him!), so that’s another plus.

Does it suck that they’re all far away?  Somestimes.  I’m not having a bridal shower or bachelorette party, though, so maybe that makes a difference.  I’m also not a DIY kind of bride, so there’s not a lot of stuff I need help with (though several of my friends in the area have been nice enough to offer to help if I need anything, which is incredibly sweet of them).

I think in the end, you have to choose the people you’d most want to be there supporting you on your wedding day.  Do you have friends or family members that you honestly couldn’t imagine not having in your life?  If so, those might be the people to ask.  

Congratulations on your engagement! 

Post # 7
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014 - South Bonson Pier & Community Centre

@thunderberry:  I had the HARDEST time with bridesmaids. I picked a long-time girlfriend that lives in town, a new (three years) friend from out of town, and my cousin that lives across the country. I think it should be who you want to spend the day with. So if you really want to have your oldest girlfriends, even if they live out of town, I say do it. And if there’s one friend that’s in-town that you’re especially close to, that might be helpful/fun for doing girly wedding stuff (so that you can get that experience of planning / doing things with a BM).  GOOD LUCK!!

Post # 8
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@thunderberry:  I got engaged at the end of last year. I had a really similar problem. Old friends I was having issues with and new friends where I didn’t feel like I was as close as a bridesmaid should be.

What I did is… nothing. 🙂 I acted exactly like I always would around those girls. One of my oldest friends and I had a falling out and it was pretty major. I’m glad I didn’t ask her to be my bridesmaid. Another girl who is a newer friend and I became so much closer. And yet another friend and I have become AMAZING friends and no doubt she’ll be my Maid/Matron of Honor.

Our engagement party is on Saturday (almost 5 months after we got engaged, hahaha, but the wedding is 2015, so we’ve got ages) and I’m asking 4 girls to be my bridesmaid. 2 girls won’t be shocked, but the 2 newer friends who have been amazing the last 5 months and assumed they aren’t bridesmaids will be so shocked and so happy. 🙂

Hope that helps? xxx

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