Post # 1
So I’m having a bit of a dilemma… Fiance and I just started jumping into the planning process, so we really just have ideas, and we’re trying to put everything together. Now the problem with choosing a maid of honor, is that my best friend (Ang) just recently moved to Ohio with her husband and kids (we live in Florida). I was always certain that she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor until she moved… Fiance and I are really close with another couple that live 30 minutes from us, and we always go out together. I feel like my friend that lives here would be the one helping me with everything, so would it be fair to call Ang my Maid/Matron of Honor when she really won’t be able to do much to assist with the wedding? It’s kind of an odd situation especially since Fiance has already made it clear that my friend’s husband in Ohio (Jay) would be his best man no matter what… But I don’t even know if I agree with that for him… I know that it’s his all-time BFF bromance whatever, but I just don’t think it’s fair since I know our friends down here will be doing a majority of the work with us… How to we deal with this?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
There is no rule that you have to choose an Maid/Matron of Honor, or even a bridal party at this point in time. Give yourself until late spring to see how things are shaping up, and then make a decision about what feels right for you. In My Humble Opinion, your Maid/Matron of Honor should be someone who you know (to the core of your being) will be there for you and support your marriage no matter what.
Post # 4
That’s a tough one. My best friend lives in FL (I’m in Michigan), but I decided to ask her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor anyway. I don’t regret the decision, but sometimes it is really hard -especially when I bought my dress and could only send her a crappy cell phone picture of me in it. I do agree with lovekiss though, your Maid/Matron of Honor should be somebody who knows you in and out and who will be there with you in the future, not just the present. Definitely take some time to think about it, but no matter what you decide I’m sure she’ll understand.
Post # 5
There’s no rule that says your Maid/Matron of Honor HAS to help you with your wedding, so I personally wouldn’t even chose my Maid/Matron of Honor based on how much they’d be able to help. My Maid/Matron of Honor lives in New York, and I live in Colorado, and then I’ll be moving back to North Carolina when FH gets out of the army. I chose her as my Maid/Matron of Honor because she’s the one who’s been there for me through whatever it was I was going through, and she’s been my sister from another mister since I’ve known her. I chose her because of the person she’s been to me..I didn’t chose her because of how much she’d be able to help in my wedding planning process
Post # 6
OP I have to agree with PP. My Maid is my sister who lives in NC and Marton is my best friend who lives in NJ. Guess where I live in GA lol….All of my bridesmaids are at least 600+ miles away from me..So, I could not pick someone who would help me the most. I picked who will be there to let me vent, someone who knows me in an out and has stood the test of time with me. Someone, who would support my marriage and tell me the truth when I’m out of line. When I look back at my wedding and at current times I know I have made the best choice because they will still be the same people 15 years from now.
Post # 7
Another thing to think about, when I chose my Maid/Matron of Honor I really thought about who would want the job. It’s a wonderful honor and acknowledgement but it can also be a lot of work and several of my close friends were more comofrtable being bridesmaids than being Maid/Matron of Honor. I gave the Maid/Matron of Honor position to one of my wonderful best friends who had the time and the means to be Maid/Matron of Honor even though she lived far away. Two of my other friends were local but really busy and didn’t have time to be Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 8
I agree with the PPs who have stated that your Maid/Matron of Honor should be someone who knows you in and out and will support you now and in the future. Have you considered making your best friend from Ohio your Maid/Matron of Honor and your friend who lives in Florida a bridesmaid? I’m sure your friend from Ohio can still assist you from a distance in certain aspects of your wedding without physically being there.
Post # 9
@Carliej01: My Maid/Matron of Honor is my best friend of 12 years. She is the person that will be there no matter how far away she lives, no matter how many times we go out together. I think when choosing your Maid/Matron of Honor its the person that is special in your life that is supporting you throughout your life, not just your wedding.
My Maid/Matron of Honor lives 7 hours away.
Good luck with deciding