(Closed) Choosing my bridesmaids- Having a hard time!

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Choose whoever you think should be bridesmaids, Multiple choices!

    Taylor, the 17 year old cousin

    Mattie, the 12 year old cousin (usually being the one with the short end of the stick)

    Fiance's friend, very sweet girl, we hang out enough, had me involved in her wedding things

    Younger sister, Tarren, 19, who I am barely in contact with anymore these days

  • Post # 3
    1252 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @KaiteEmm:  I voted, but just some food for thought: I think you should wait until much later to choose your bridesmaids. Let things play out, let time pass to see how personalities and situations change. You have a lot of time before your wedding. You might use that time to see if you can reconnect or connect stronger with your sister. Or you might find your cousin, the middle child, would be fine as a junior bridesmaid or greeter or doing a reading of a poem or something. Plenty of time…good luck!

    Post # 4
    1433 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I think you can leave the cousins out no problem… they are young and will like helping anyway regardless of having a title role… its also less for you to worry about/pay for/manage because they are essentially children and not really capable of doing many Bridesmaid or Best Man things (bachelorette planning, bridal shower planning, etc)

    I’m not super close with my sister or my SIL and would have been fine NOT having them in the wedding but I made both of them BMs bc they are family and it actually brought us way closer so I’m glad I included them…

    I voted for your sister and the friend… she seems like a nice girl and will most likely be helpful in the wedding process because she’s been through it before. I know she’s your FI’s friend firstly but she’s a girl and you hang out & etc so if it were me, I’d make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man 😉

    Post # 5
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    My 2 cents:  I agree you should wait to decide. Otherwise my suggestions are to  make your younger sister a reader or program-hander-outer person or something else you can put a name on but not have a ton of responsibility.  The little cousin can be a junior bridesmaid and the older cousin can be a Bridesmaid or Best Man with limited responsiblities as she’ll probably be starting school or otherwise being a teenager. As for your SO’s friend I would tell her how important it is for her to share the day and ask her if she would feel more comfortable standing on your side or his side, I would lean more towards Bridesmaid or Best Man. 

    Post # 6
    616 posts
    Busy bee

    @Cornflakegirl: BIG HUGE +1 to this!!!

    I cannot tell you how much has changed since last November when I originally asked my girls to be in the wedding. It has been everything that I’ve dreamed of along with a few nightmare situations. I would very seriously consider waiting until you’re more like a year out to ask them. 

    Post # 7
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    How old are the flower girl and ring bearer? If they are young enough, your two cousins can each “escort” one down the aisle… My ring bearer will be one month shy of 3 years old, so my fiance’s cousin (she is 17) will be a sort of “junior bridesmaid” and escort our ring bearer down the aisle.

    Even if your ring bearer and flower girl are old enough to walk on their own, maybe allow their sister Mattie to escort them anyway? She could be a Junior Bridesmaid, and walk between them or ahead of them, or hold a “here comes the bride!” banner or something to that effect…

    Or, you could include some of them as Junior Bridesmaids (maybe Tarren and Mattie since you seem to be least close to them? Or the two youngest, whoever they may be?).

    Or include them all, and if you’re worried about it looking crowded up front, have it so only your Maid/Matron of Honor and sister stand with you, and then your fiance’s Best Man and one other groomsman. That no one feels left out, and it won’t look crowded up at the altar.

    Post # 8
    5191 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

    Yeah, don’t choose your bridesmaids yet. It’s way super duper too early for that decision. Don’t even hint at the possibility to asny of the people you are considering. You may find yourself pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised by how your relationships with these people change in the ensuing years. Wait until about 9 months before the wedding to make your decision.

    Post # 9
    1301 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    This is tricky. You can’t have one cousin without the other, so I say have neither. They are both VERY young. Have them hang out programs or something along those lines. Regarding your sister, my can’t have one without the other rule applies. You should include your younger sister since you already have one sister in the wedding. And then it sounds like you want to have this friend n the wedding pretty badly, so voila:


    Sister + Friend = Bridesmaids. 

    Cousins = Program Hander Outers

    Post # 10
    2674 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I would wait at least a year before you make any decisions. A lot can change in a year. You’re less likely to regret the decision if you wait. I feel like if you pick now you’re setting yourself up for failure because you aren’t sure about these people now, so its less likely that you will be sure about them in a year when you should be picking. Things could happen between now and the wedding which could make you wish you hadn’t asked them already.

    Post # 11
    197 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Definatly WAIT to chose your bridesmaids.  ALOT can happen in a year and a half. 

    I voted for your friend, because she seems to be very important to you.  I didn’t vote for your sister, but you should double think that through.  Blood is blood, and You may regret not having her years down the road.


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