(Closed) Choosing my Maid of Honor?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I’d pick the 1st girl, and just not expect her to drive over to you to do a lot of stuff

Or, you could just have them all be bridesmaids and not have a Maid/Matron of Honor

Post # 4
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Sjam415:  Pick 1. My Maid/Matron of Honor is out of state (from my hometown) till juneish (shes moving to the same state as me for year coincidentally) and then she will be somewhere between 10 minutes and 3 hours away from me. Your Maid/Matron of Honor should be able to come dress shopping with you (with lots of advanced notice) and plan a shower and bachelorette party (not required but usually happens. Location won’t matter for that. Theres no reason to expect her to go to the cake tasting or visit potential venues with you (FI will go). And you can do a LOT of wedding gossiping/fantasizing over the internet. I show my Maid/Matron of Honor pictures of things I like all the time. She doesn’t make a ton of time for it (she doesn’t need to). I’m sure whoever you pick will make time for the actual wedding and helping out the week before ect. But I would want the person I’m closest to to have the additional acknowledgement of being Maid/Matron of Honor regardless of their location.

Post # 5
894 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

1st girl – 45 minutes isn’t that far and if she doesn’t want to be Maid/Matron of Honor she can tell you

Post # 6
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

#1. Sounds like friend #2 would jump on helping with the bachelorette, so you could run it by MOH- “Hey, she’s really interested in this- would you want her to plan it? If #1 is busy, just don’t overload her with daily emails, etc. 

Post # 7
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Pick #1! My Maid/Matron of Honor was out of country and it still worked out! πŸ™‚ My other BMs just chipped in to help πŸ™‚

Post # 8
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you should choose a Maid/Matron of Honor (or anyone in the bridal party) based on her proximity to you.  My Maid/Matron of Honor lives on the other side of the country from me and has been 100% committed to everything wedding related.  If Girl #1 is the one you want, then you should pick her. 

Post # 9
4014 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

#1 if she wants to be Maid/Matron of Honor. You don’t HAVE to have a Maid/Matron of Honor btw if you dont feel like choosing between them πŸ˜‰

Post # 10
9647 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

#1 πŸ™‚

Post # 12
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013


I vote #1. When I was a Maid/Matron of Honor my friend lived about an hour away and I was busy as well. The way it worked for us is we had set wedding days. We knew that Tuesdays were “wedding days” and anything she wanted us to do together physically had to be done on that day. We also had plenty of phone time and emails back and forth. Distance never really became an issue…

Now the last wedding I was in I was asked to be the Maid/Matron of Honor, however I did politely decline due to other obligations at the time and she totally understood. So if she can’t do it it’s not that she loves you any less, she probably just doesn’t want to disappoint you by not living up to her duties. I will say in this wedding the Maid/Matron of Honor that she did choose, her cousin, was way too busy reconnecting with family the day of so I really ended up filling that role on the wedding day which she really appreciated.

Post # 13
522 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

i would chose nº1 and you can always ask the other 2 for help on some of the things

Post # 14
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Sounds like you’ve already made your choice buuuut….

You don’t have to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, they could always all share.

Post # 15
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My Maid/Matron of Honor lives about an hour away from me…and is currently training for the Olympics. But there is no one else that I would want to be in that place for me. She has been helpful in as much as she can, and I know as soon as the Olympic trials and Olympics (hoping she makes it!) are over, she will be there 100%.

Post # 16
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Why do you have to pick a MOH?

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