Post # 1
Ok bees I am having a really tough time choosing my Maid/Matron of Honor. I have a BEST FRIEND who I have known since like third grade and we always planned on being each others MOH’s. She moved to Florida about two years ago and we still keep in touch and see each other atleast once a year. Of course my first choice is and has always been her. Now I also do have another best friend that I met my first day in high school in 2001 and we have remained friends ever since. She lives very close to me and we hang out all the time and our kids always play together as well. We talk about my wedding plans and she helps out a lot. My family and other friends are telling me that I should not pick my BEST FRIEND from Florida because she lives so far and cannot help me in ways that MOH’s should. They also say she won’t be able to afford throwing me a bridal shower and other things that MOH’s should do and be apart of. Now to me none of that matters because I could care less about having a bridal shower and registering and all of that. I pretty much have the wedding planning under control because I do have a while before the actual wedding and my wonderful husband to be helps out a lot and actually has amazing ideas. I am completely stuck on who to pick and to be honest either of these girls would be an amazing Maid/Matron of Honor but my husband to be will only be having one Bridesmaid or Best Man and he doesn’t want to feel obligated to have two Bridesmaid or Best Man. I literally am losing sleep over this silly topic and my main concern is hurting people’s feelings. There is also concern about if my BEST FRIEND will even be able to come up from Florida to actually go dress shopping with me and for dress fittings. I need your opinions bees!!!
Has anyone else had or having this problem? What did/are you doing to make up your mind?
Post # 3
@jdpuddlesjr: When it comes to choosing your Maid/Matron of Honor, I wouldn’t place importance on her ability to help you with things, go dress shopping or go for your dress fittings. Instead- focus more on which person you want to be standing right next to you. Out of the two girls, who do you see always being there for you? That’s the one that I believe you should choose as your Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 4
Who would you call at 3 AM to help you bury a body?
That’s your Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 5
I don’t think financial burden should play a factor in choosing Maid/Matron of Honor. But I agree the perfect candidate for the Maid/Matron of Honor should have a deep emotional relationship with you and be able to help you out and support you throughout the way to wedding day.
Are you having any BMs?
Ultimately is your choice to pick either gal.
I won’t ask Maid/Matron of Honor to shell out money to throw me parties and other stuff. I didn’t ask her to go dress fitting for me. But she will be very much involved in my wedding planning if I need advices or sending her pictures to look at and comment all those things. And need not to mention she will need to help me big time on the wedding day.
Your friend in FL is not a problem. Since she is in a different state, will she be able to help you out throughout the planning? If she has limitations and only available on wedding day, and anything prior to wedding will be rely on your other BMs to help out, then it will be less convenient. However, I think it will still be doable if you really want this gal to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. But I would also check with other BMs to make sure they are okay with the planning “without your MOH” presence. Some BMs don’t like to do all the tasks Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to do.
Alternatively, you can make your out of state friend be your Bridesmaid or Best Man to lessen her responsibility. But check with your friend and other BMs first. If your friend is comfortable helping your plan from FL, then it’s your call.
Afterall you want the most important person to stand beside you right?
Post # 6
@futuremrsfitz18: <—Exactly what she said. LMAO!! That’s why my bestie who lives in Florida is my Maid/Matron of Honor and she won’t be able to be here til 2 days before my wedding but there is no one else in this world I would want there standing by my side
Post # 7
Post # 8
Tough one. But I’d probably choose the girl who is closest to you now. I mean closest relationship-wise. It sounds like you are still friends with the girl from Florida but for obvious reasons you don’t hang out as much. Don’t worry about “promises” you made when you were younger. Things change. People change. That’s just part of life. I’m sure the girl from Florida would still appreciate being a bridesmaid.
@futuremrsfitz18: LOL that pretty much sums it up.
Post # 9
I refused to decide…I have two MOH’s 🙂
The way I worked it out is I divided up the traditional Maid/Matron of Honor duties between them. One will stand next to me at the wedding, do my bustle, etc. The other will be the witness on our marriage license. Both are planning the bachelorette party.
This has had its ups and downs – one Maid/Matron of Honor seems to have taken on a bulk of the work (the other is busy helping her dad who is sick.) Still, I love that they are both included, as there is no way I could say one of them is a better friend than the other. I almost decided based on who I knew longer, but I have different relationships with them and felt making a decision would inevitably be arbitrary.
Hope this helps. It’s certainly not for everyone, but it’s worked out for me!
Post # 10
All of your advice has been really helpful. I am glad to be apart of the bee community! I am going to take all of your advice and talk to them and see how they feel. If they are truly my friends they will be honest in what they can do to help and be open about the way they feel. Thanks again ladies!
Post # 11
I chose two Maids of Honor