- 3 years ago
I’m a long-time luker, and I’m posting anonymously because I don’t want to risk the small chance that this will hurt people.
I’m just curious if there are any others who ended up doing things like I did.
I’m currently in a great relationship with a great person. They are smart, caring, humble, understanding, and are a genuinely kind person.
We’re engaged to be married, and neither of us have any doubts.
They are really laid-back about life, and are OK with the things I want, like marriage, and one kid.
Of course they are not 100% perfect, but the ‘faults’ they have are minor. They have everything that actually matters.
The thing is, I made a very logical decision to pursue this person for building a life. I’m a late bloomer, and I pretty much discounted the idea of marriage, and kids for most of my life.
Then I was middle-aged, and decided that it was time to settle down.
I assessed my situation, and decided to pursue this person because they seemed like a good, kind person. I wasn’t really attracted to this person, and I had considered myself to be asexual. I had not been attracted to anyone in my life, so the lack of physical attraction wasn’t important to me.
I determined that this person would probably like me OK, and that they seemed like one of those ‘diamonds in the rough’. They weren’t exactly attractive in the traditional sense, either in looks or personality, but I have non traditional tastes.
The main things that mattered to me were intelligence, a kind heart, trustworthiness, and a calm personality not quick to anger. They have an abundance of all these qualities.
So I made all the first moves and we slowly got to know one another. I discovered that they are very likely demisexual, in that they are not sexually attracted to people until they have an emotional connection.
They are very attracted to me now, and they love me very much. I’ve also discovered that I’m probably not asexual anymore because I do enjoy sexual activities with them.
My warm feelings can come and go, and I think they probably have more feelings, but I care about them a lot.
I think I’m just not naturally as loving as other people. I made the logical decision to pursue this person to build a life with, and it worked out very well.
I don’t really feel love for anyone in real life. I love people, but I don’t really get the head over heels feeling for anyone.
Can anyone relate to this?