(Closed) Choosing the MOH ugh

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

First of all, this was really hard to read, so sorry if I missed details.

Can you just not have a Maid/Matron of Honor and cut all the drama? It’s so much easier to just delegate tasks than have to deal with this. 

I also dont know why you would pick someone you have just reconciled with to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. My opinion has always been that the Maid/Matron of Honor is the one person in your life who is constant and true. For me, that’s my sister. We may fight, but we still love eachother and I know that she will always be around. Even if she was a good friend before, she obviously did something major to you in the past to deserve your FI’s and friend’s distrust. 

Post # 4
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Why would everyone be mad at you?  You guys had a fallen out and has since moved passed it and everyone else should too.  Just tell them and if they get mad they will get over it eventually.

Post # 5
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s YOUR WEDDING so you do what you want and everyone’s just going to have to get over it. I recently had to break the news to a good friend (and would’ve been potential bridesmaid) that the date I booked at my dream venue conflicts with another wedding she committed to. She was really upset, but I had to make the choice to either book that date or have to push out my wedding!So lesson learned that a lot of things will come up that will inconvenience or upset others, but we can’t please everyone!

On another note, I’m not having a Maid/Matron of Honor – just several BMs and they are all graciously offering to help as much as they can (one girl offered to coordinate the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses and set up shopping trips, another one offered to plan my weekend-destination bachelorette, etc). I personally think the Maid/Matron of Honor label puts too much pressure on a girl and naturally, the most proactive, capable party planner-type will step up anyway.

Post # 6
9667 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

i think you should still have her as Maid/Matron of Honor, she is the most supportive one of your bridesmaids it sounds like, so she deserves the title. just sit everyone down and explain to them who you chose, and your reasons for it, if they care about you they shouldn’t make a huge deal out of it, and realise it’s your wedding not theirs. she sounds like she will be a great Maid/Matron of Honor 🙂

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