(Closed) Choosing to not invite a friend due to “drama” – venting

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1860 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

No invite. No emails or explanations.  If she brings it up, just say you were up to capacity and had to cut a lot of family members too.

Post # 4
3993 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I wouldn’t invite her and I DEFINITELY wouldn’t explain it beforehand. I’d stop talking to her about wedding details for sure…though I’d probably slow down my communication with her at all, that way it seemed more natural to her. Does that make sense? If you keep talking to her about the wedding, you’ll get stuck in the, “So where’s my invite?!” conversation.

Post # 5
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I honestly think you’ve put yourself in a bad position by talking about the weddign with her. That is exactly fair to her. She is going to assume she is invited.

Post # 6
1390 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agreed with PP.


Post # 7
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If your wedding is going to have a lot of guests, you can seat her as far away from the burned bridges people as possible.  You’ve kept up the friendship and call her a friend so I don’t think you should have to not invite her just because there’s drama between her and other guests at the wedding.

If you’re afraid she’s going to cause a scene, that’s one thing.  But if you just don’t want her interacting with those people, I think it can work out as long as your friend has other people to socialize with.  I just went to a wedding where a guest like that behaved very well and the bridges burned people were very civil as well.

Post # 8
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s your wedding, and if you don’t want her to be there, don’t invite her!  I would just stop discussing the wedding with her, and just don’t send an invite – an explanation isn’t necessary.  I had a friend that I absolutely refused to invite because she gets blasted drunk every time we go out and then threatens to jump off of the nearest bridge for the rest of the night EVERY TIME.  The last wedding that we went to, she ran out of the reception and ran down the hall of the venue wailing crying because she was being drunk and ridiculous.  I didn’t invite her, she got mad, and then I remembered why I don’t like hanging out with her in the first place and stopped including that drama in my life.  Maybe you’re at the same turning point…lol  🙂

Post # 9
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We have a very similar problem..This girl is very drama prone and sucks others into it very quickly. We’re doing our best to kindly and discretely remove ourselves from her. But after a couple of months of peace she calls me to say she’s engaged and wants me to be her Bridesmaid or Best Man..! How are we supossed to keep her from our wedding AND avoid hers without being total jerks? My concious will get the better of me, I just know it.

Post # 10
100 posts
Blushing bee

I have a similar situation in my family.

My Aunt and her two daughters (Aunty Evil, Cousin A and Cousin B)  have burned a lot of bridges. They have always made it clear that they did not like me or my family. Yet they are all demanding they be invited to my wedding because they are “family” and in their exact tacky words they had to attend to make sure I  “didn’t dare have a better wedding than Cousin A or Cousin B”. Ummm sure, why would I want to invite someone who I know wants to make sure my wedding isn’t nicer than someone elses and who I know might want to sabotage it?

I know other family members who still get along with my Aunty are upset that she won’t be invited. I have had family members say “she has always been like this, and we just have to accept her personality”. 

Needless to say, I’m not inviting them.

Post # 11
3 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

i love the responses here!!!  its your wedding, and your day.  if she is going to cause problems, why on earth would you want her there?  good luck bride!

Post # 12
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have a similar sit. Two of my cousins just this past weekend decided to drop out of the bridal party bc they didnt agree with the attire I wanted them to wear. One of the cousins ended up saying really bad stuff about me and needless to say is nolonger apart of the bridal party nor is invited. And I dont feel bad. My family will prob be upset with me bc after all they are family but at the end of they day It’s my wedding and the people I want to share it with should be those who are loving and supportive. I dont feel bad at all and will not be explaining to ANYONE why they wont be present and you shouldn’t either.

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