Post # 1
Member
11 posts
Newbee
Hey ladies! I was having the hardest time finding a bridesmaid dress, until I finally found the one last week (it was really hard to find the color and style I wanted – that’s another story though!). Due to various factors (mostly where they live), I only took my Maid/Matron of Honor with me to look at dresses. When I first asked all my bridesmaids to be in the wedding I showed them pictures of the look I was interested in, and they all liked the color and style I was going for. I definitely took into account their sizes, and what they’d feel comfortable in (i.e. many expressed interest in straps, and this dress has them).
I told them I would do my best to keep prices reasonable, but unfortunately this dress is a little more than I was hoping they’d have to pay at $185 (total – it’s online and there’s no shipping or sales tax). I know that 4 out of my 5 bridesmaids are fine with this. My Maid/Matron of Honor told me not to worry about price, Bridesmaid or Best Man 1 figured they’d be $200+, Bridesmaid or Best Man 3 is my fiance’s younger sister and my Future Mother-In-Law is fine with it, and Bridesmaid or Best Man 4 also isn’t worried about it – but I’m worried about Bridesmaid or Best Man 5.
I posted the dress to our facebook group as being “the one,” and the other girls all liked it – but Bridesmaid or Best Man 5 hasn’t said anything yet. Unfortunately I haven’t gotten to see her since I asked her to be a bridesmaid, so I haven’t got to keep her updated on the dress search. And we never talked about her budget – I just felt too akward to ask about it. Now I am wishing I had. I’m not sure if she doesn’t like the dress, thinks it’s too expensive, or just forgot to respond. I haven’t given details about ordering it yet, I’m planning to do that soon.
Any advice on what I should do at this point? (And I know, I should have talked to her about budget from the start – my mistake. I was originally hoping to find a cheaper dress, but to get the elements we were looking for this was the best price I could find.)
Thanks for any insight, bees.
Post # 2
Member
11 posts
Newbee
I would definitely consider giving her some money toward the dress if the price is too much for her – I don’t want to make being a bridesmaid difficult!! But unfortunately with my budget I don’t have a ton to give. If I helper her pay for it, would I have to do so for everyone else, too? Has anyone done this before?
Post # 3
Member
584 posts
Busy bee
I haven’t gotten this far in my planning, but I think you should just send her a private message and say “Hey X, I realized we hadn’t had a chance to sit down and talk about the bridesmaid dress budget…does this amount work for you?” Depending on her response, you can offer to pay for a portion of it. I wouldn’t offer that to the others, especially if it’s all in their price range (which it sounds like it is).
Post # 4
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee
kellybee33:
Too be honest anything under $200 is pretty great for a bridesmaids dress the prices have gotten ridiculous lately. I work in a boutique and all our new stuff is like $250-$300 and I just had a bride state she picked out $350 dresses from JCrew. So I think if you approach it that way and let her know you wanted to keep it under $200 she will probably understand.
Post # 5
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
kellybee33: Why don’t you call her on the phone instead of texting or private messaging or FB posts? Ask her if she likes the dress and is cool with the price.
Post # 6
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
kellybee33: Send her a PM and ask what she’s comfortable with, then offer the pay the difference. Keep it between you two though.
What I did, is I found a dress I liked and before I showed them, I PM’d them individually asked what price range they were comfortable with. Once I got the “ok” from everyone on their price range, I showed them the dress, got the “ok” on that and ordered them.
Post # 7
Member
11 posts
Newbee
onthefritz: Jen041815: llussier: jillbean1217:
Thanks to you all for your advice, I appreciate it. I called her tonight to discuss it, and she just hadn’t gotten a chance to really look at it yet! She seemed fine with the price, and once she looked at it she told me that she thinks it’s beautiful and is happy it has straps. 🙂
So it’s all good! 🙂
Post # 9
Member
11 posts
Newbee
jeanneamber: That is a beautiful dress! I’m glad you found a deal that worked for your girls. 🙂 Once I talked to mine she let me know she is okay with the dress and price, so I’m all set to help them start the ordering process, too!
Post # 10
Member
2238 posts
Buzzing bee
kellybee33: I had a similar concern about Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. I finally decided on something yesterday, and they’re $265 – yikes! My mom is paying for my younger sister’s and my older sister said she is fine with the price. For my other two BMs (FSIL and best friend from college), I told them that they can pay whatever they feel comfortable with and I’ll cover the rest. My friend already told me the price is fine (which I had previously discussed with her), and I have yet to hear back from Future Sister-In-Law, but I am totally fine with covering all of it, if need be. Maybe you could privately call/email her and let her know that whatever she’s comfortable paying is fine, and you’ll take care of the rest?
Post # 11
Member
5151 posts
Bee Keeper
kellybee33: I paid for one of my bridesmaids dresses completely. I did not tell any of the other BMs that I did this. Her dress was only $79 though, so it wasnt too much of a cost.
That said – you arent required to pay this. She agreed to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man knowing that there were costs involved. While yes, you should have asked her her budget, I think its reasonable (at least in my area) to pay up to $200.
I would just text her and say, “Hey, did you see the dress picutre?” if you don’t hear back from her soon.
Post # 12
Member
11 posts
Newbee
weatherbug: annb9:
Thanks bees! I called her last night and she is fine with the dress, price and all. When I asked if she thought the price was okay, she said when she agreed to be a bridesmaid she agreed to all of it – and she said if I like the dress, then she likes the dress! And once she got a chance to look at it she told me she thinks it is beautiful. So we are all set. 🙂