Post # 17
I agree with mtnbridenc.
We found that the classes have been beneficial even though we are a compatible couple. There are still areas where we disagree or are unsure of how we will handle something.
We weren’t scolded or told not to marry, rather taught how to allow communication to flow, how to best deal with family issues, what plans we need to make financially/family planning, etc
And it has been pretty fun for us. We really like our pastor so that helps a lot.
Post # 18
Pre Cana is required for me (Catholic) and we’re also doing counseling through the Lutheran church (FI), because honestly you can’t prepare too much. But that’s just the way we look at it :o)
Post # 19
Ours wasn’t exactly required, but it was strongly recommended. Did we learn anything ground breaking new about each other? Nope. Did we end up with very personalized and honest advice from our priest? Yup. Our priest told us about he and his wife and some of the things they’ve been through and learned through 30 years of marriage and insight into typical marriage issues that no one wants to talk about (a la – Since men and women’s hormones will develop and change at different rates through life – at some point sex will be an issue, even if its all good now etc). I’d recommend it and I’d do it again because you never know what you might learn.
Post # 20
… I honestly have a really hard time with NOT doing counseling. We’re not officially engaged yet since he hasn’t talked to my dad, but we’ve already started on the book Hard Questions by Susan Piven as our pre-premarital counseling. It helps you communicate better, as well as lay the groundwork for how you’ll deal with certain situations. You may not react EXACTLY in real life as you would to the question “How will you do with the biggest fight in your relationship?” but it will make you stop in the middle of it and take a step back to remember how you said you would deal with it when you’re being rational. I forget the actual number, but the statistics for divorce for couples who did premarital counseling were lower than those who decided they didn’t need it. It couldn’t hurt, at the very least, and could do wonders at the most.
Post # 21
Counseling is not mandatory, but it is highly recommended! How would you know whether you need it or not until you’ve had it? My fiance and I are on our 6/12 counseling session. The woman that does ours is a Christian and has a PhD in Marriage and Family counseling. I love it! The sessions deal with the Spiritual as well as Psycho-social aspects of marriage. I’ve learned so much and we’ve grown tremendously!
Also, remember, there is always something we simply do not know. We must always remain teachable. I do not know it all, so the decision for counseling was easy. I would like to leave a few scriptures! All the best to you!
The way of a fool [is] right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel [is] wise. Proverbs 12:15
Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end. Proverbs 19:20
The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5
Post # 22
I agree with herecomesthesun and mtnbridenc, my FH and I are currently going through PM counseling and it has helped us to be closer to each other and to God. We were not required to do the sessions especially since neither of us are currently living in the location of our minister. But we opted to do the sessions both in person and over skype so that we don’t lose sight of God in the planning process.
Good luck in your decision and congrats!
Post # 23
Our counseling is required, but I’m really excited for it anyway! I am so glad to have a close family friend do our counseling – long-distance, to boot! We’re an LDR from start to finish (he’ll be flying in a couple days before the wedding, due to Navy stuff), and I’m glad we found someone close to me, at least, who can do it for us!
Post # 24
We did it. We talked about some interesting stuff, but much of it we knew. We did the PREPARE test where our Pastor told us our strengths, weak areas growth areas, and where we stand on where we want our family at connection wise.
We enjoyed it, but we have an awesome pastor!
Post # 25
my old youth group pastor is flying in from Cali to marry us, we are doing counseling via the WWW 🙂
we were actually supposed to meet with him in person while he was in town over MLK weekend, but plans got fudged due to a death in the family.
he’s sending over a few books he was going to give us over the weekend, i’m excited to get reading!
Post # 26
we just started our pre-marital counseling, so I can’t say for myself, but I hear from many couples that it really is enlightening… even for those who are very communicative. I would say it doesn’t hurt. 🙂
Post # 27
We are in the midst of our premarital counseling – while required by our church, it is by far the aspect of our wedding that we are MOST excited by. I would never, ever consider skipping out on the premarital counseling, because honestly, what do we have to lose? In my opinion it is invaluable (and in many places, it’s free…but even if it weren’t it would be an investment for us). In comparison, I just couldn’t care less about the details of our wedding, reception, etc. That is only one day. The counseling is giving us real guidance and a safe place to talk about issues, even if we’ve discussed them before. We are best friends and are totally comfortable talking to each other about anything, but we certainly feel there is ALWAYS room to grow, no matter what we’ve already discussed or how well we know each other. We love the fresh perspective that it brings. Here we are focusing on what matters most – our future marriage and how we will relate to one another and the Lord in the midst of it. I’ve also found it to be extremely helpful in building relationships with our associate pastor and his wife. I would REALLY recommend it!
Post # 28
My fiance and I are going through Preparing for Life by Dennis Rainey. The book is fine, but what is great about our counseling is that it is several sessions. We are really getting a chance to get into the nitty gritty of our relationship because the sessions ask really good questions. It also gives our pastor the chance to get to know us as a couple and to be invested in our marriage. We’ve only gone to one session (and this blasted blizzard cancelled our second one scheduled for today) but it I can already see that counseling will be invaluable. We’re already making note of subjects we want to cover with our pastor.
Yay for premarital counseling, it’s making us a stronger couple!