Post # 1
For those of you who will not be having sex before marriage and are virgins like myself. I found this website to be very helpful. I know often there are questions about how far is too far and this site explains so of that and helps you process some of the things you might be worried about.
I hope this helps someone I know it did for me.
Let me know what you think.
Post # 3
The part about what to expect was helpful. Some of the sections were a little tmi (fetishes?!), but the parts that pertained to average people were good.
Post # 4
Wow… I’m not a Christian or a virgin, but I had to check out the site anyways… it certainly “covers the bases” he he.
Post # 5
It is very informational, however, I have a lot of theological qualms with it. I couldn’t read a lot of their “christian” views because quite honestly many of them are very narrow. And not in the way you may think.
Their section on Birth Control.
- The bible DOES address Birth Control in the form of withdrawal – God struck him dead. um, ya.
- I wish they would pick a stance. When does life begin? If you see the bible word for word and black and white, why can’t you make a definitive stance on when life begins. It’s not a “what do you think, I’ll let you decide.” It is however VERY informational on the different types out there…
- Except NFP/FAM. This should be their HIGHLIGHT not a small blurb at the bottom. It’s the best for your health, relationship, and most effective. However, much of their information is skewed and this is ironically the ONE place they choose to talk about “their” theology… in that they have an issue with it. “We have theological problems with NFP because it violates the Biblical command to only abstain from sex for the purpose of fasting and prayer (1 Cor 7:5).” OK, when a couple fasts, they are to do so IN prayer and discernment of whether or not God is calling them to potentially be parents.
- They also don’t mention the different methods of FAM, but they DO mention almost every pill/iud under the sun.
- If this is a Christian guide, it SHOULD discuss the Christian values and what potential hindrances may come as well as theology. I.E. How about you go into the bible, Christian teaching, and sterilization. What about barrier methods? Nope, didn’t think so.
- I could barely get through it. The bottom line, theologically, is that sex has TWO primary ends. Bonding and Procreation. If you take out either, bonding with your spouse and openness to children, then you are not fulfilling Gods plan for sex. (insert theological issue with birth control no. 1) As such, Masturbation is seen as a sin because it is a selfish act. Not just “because” which is what the website suggests. If we are to treat our bodies as temples, and sex as sacred, then we must keep that act sacred in the way God intended. If we do not, then we are not treating our body as a Sacred Temple.
How Far Before Marriage
- The author would not french kiss his girlfriend but condones masturbation?
There is a lot of good info put in a way that for those of us who are saving ourselves for marriage, can understand. However, I wound only rec. this site for the biological and physiological information, not its “christian teaching.”
For a more comprehensive biblical and theological view on contraception and the benefits of FAM, I highly rec listening to 3 talks.
– The Birth Control Pill: Concerns for Christian Women
by Dr. Martha Garza, M.D. (OB/Gyn and Reproductive Endocrinologist)
– Holy Scripture: What Does it teach us About Contraception
by Steven Habisohn
– Natural Family Planning: God’s Plan For Life and Love
by Eric Scheidler
– All can be found at this link to listen to for free
Thanks for the resource, there is a lot of good information, however, I had a lot of issues theologically with it, and I only touched on a few 🙂
Post # 6
I had to chime in… I grew up in a rather conservative Christian home and many (not all) of those beliefs still hold true for me today. I do think it’s really important to remember that there are a lot of views on theology. I went to three different churches growing up, and each thought they had “the only right way” when it came to their theological beliefs. Are there certain truths that hold true no matter what Christian teaching you follow? Absolutely (ex. Ten Commandments). Are there beliefs that are more based on interpretation? Absolutely! I really think a lot of sex questions fall into this category. It would be difficult to open up the Bible and find a passage that reads “Oral contraceptives are prohibited, unless you have one of the following medical conditions” etc. It really seems to depend on what you are taught is correct at your place of worship.
I think it’s great that you have stuck to your convictions and are waiting for marriage to have sex! And I think it’s great to make informed choices, whether you use NFP, BC, plan on having children immediately, etc.
Post # 7
EvaBostonTerrier – that’s kind of my point. It seems that this is a “bible” Christian who wrote the guide. Most stuff only relates to what is said in the bible. My issues are where it IS mentioned in the bible and he fails to relate or where he doesn’t look at the ‘whole.’ Like you said, it would be hard to find, “thou shalt not use hormonal methods of birth control.” I do have differing “christian” views, however, most my faults with the sites “theology” lie in the missed theology of his own that’s being given on his website.
Post # 8
I hadn’t gotten around to reading the birth control area but I found the how far is too far helpful for me and my fiance. I also found the what to expect on your wedding night helpful. It definatley opened up questions that we are talking about. We look forward to what is to come and I am happy that we can be so open about it now and know that we are prepared. I hope some of what is on the web site is helpful even if the theological suggestions are not what people would argree with.
Thanks for sharing ladies.
Post # 9
Yup, like I said, I think the info as far as the biological/physiological/psychological is good and I would red. thar, I just would rec. it for “theology” knowledge.
Post # 10
- Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House
I think it’s really great for Christian women to prepare themselves mentally for the physical aspects of marriage. I glanced through the website and I’m really glad you found it helpful.
I disagree with KLP about it being theologically unsound though. First, I don’t think the point of the website is to take the place of systematic theology, but rather to present information. Just because it presents the information, doesn’t mean that they condone it or promote it. Additionally, the Onan story has several interpretiations – one being the way she interprets it and another being that he was struck down not for the method but for his disobedience (ex. I want to move to Boston, God wants me to stay in Durham, but I move to Boston anyways. The sin isn’t moving to Boston – lots of people move to Boston everyday – but the sin is disobeying God.). Another interpretation is that if it is indeed a blanket commandment for everyone, since Jesus fulfilled the law of the old testament, we have been freed of this law.
If you (the op) would like to read anything else, I recommend a book, Intended for Pleasure.
Post # 11
Thanks for the post and the link! I think many of us can benefit from it. 🙂
Post # 12
i HIGHLY recommend Intended for Pleasure that @lamb posted. its a great book and very helpful.
im a christian that has the view that within marriage, sex is a gift from God, because God wants his children to be happy. Its part of building a stable and loving relationship and foundation for your new family.
this is a bit too non-denominational, but the basic idea is what i have been taught about sex and marriage: http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=4651272&page=1
Post # 13
our pastor/counselor recommanded intended for pleasure and also A Celebration of Sex
It has a lot of hands on info and technical explaination.. my pastor lend it to my Fiance after counselling session ends.. haha
it does create temptation though.. but the wait is about to end and we can do it!
Post # 14
I had a friend recommend Sheet Music. You read some of the book before marriage and then other parts after marriage. I think it was worth reading. I bought the book and then me and Fiance read parts and traded it back and forth until we were done and we talked about it while we were reading it. Talking about your expectations that first night by writing them down and then sharing them was a good idea so you don’t change what you are expecting when you hear what your fi has to say about it. I liked this alot and found it very helpful. We still have more talking to do but we are getting very close.